Kat147

I have a question. I don't necessarily think it's an age thing at all. It may be a personality thing. Have you ever dove into finding out your personality through the Enneagram or Myer-Briggs Typology Index? A lot of beside nursing depends on the person to be efficient at doing routine tasks. Perhaps you are more goal oriented or more people centered. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is key. I'm an INFJ and I'm goal oriented when nursing is all about completing tasks. I had to make sheets with time blocks and place different tasks on the sheet including routine med administration. It really makes a difference. There are days when I don't have always have the time to organize my day this way but I can really tell the difference when I do. Also, if you have a med cart, fill it with extra supplies including straws so you aren't constantly spinning your wheels between the patient's room and the clean supply room. Also, if you are fortunate to be in a place that utilizes epic use the electronic brain. All the tasks are right on the screen for you. I hope these tips help. Best of luck and remember to be kind to yourself.

As I read this it brings back so many memories of when I was a new grad. Granted I started in med-surg and have been there for most of my career, but in school you aren't equipped with all the tips and definitely haven't had a chance to refine your skills enough to really know what it is you are doing. I'm sorry to read your experience and someone who had been belittled and bullied for 16 years I empathize with you. That's awful and terrible all in the same. Time and time again I read about nurses bullying and bring down their own. It's sad. But your story resonates with so many. I'll tell you a little about me. I worked on the pandemic floor up until October of last year and I had enough. Previously it was the infectious disease floor and I quit after almost 9 years of toxicity. I experienced burn out, PTSD, and SI not to mention the lateral violence. Now it's March and for the first time I have peace and know that quitting was the best answer for me. What I'm trying to say is don't stay in a toxic environment for 9 years. It will take its toll. Get out and start somewhere new but first if you are able take some time to heal. You are precious and care abundantly and some people in this world see that as a weakness, yet that is truly your super power. Don't let these jerks steal your superpower. It's what makes you an incredible compassionate nurse! Hold your head high and know you are enough and you are smart enough, and you can do this! We need people like you in the world that care!! ? Hugs...

30 is not old. LOL. I got my NP at the ripe age of 40. Age is a mindset anyway. The advice from others is sound. It may take a risk on your part to dive into the ICU to see if you like it. You could always stay PRN at your current job. That way you have options if things aren't a good fit. Hope this helps!