MuddyOkinawa

@13grad71 Thank you so much for having left your comment when you had. I actually did adjust my expectations; stopped applying for ICU positions. A lot of hospital MS positions wanted me! I was kind of shocked; because I really felt like having graduated last 2013 would be a severe disadvantage on my end. I guess COVID made places more desperate. I got offers for a COU (I declined; it seemed like COU will mostly teach me how to admit and discharge. Basically pro at paperwork, and I won't get to hone my skills as much. Would have been sort of easy money, but my goal right now is to have competent foundations), M/S with PCU (I am on the fence on this offer, doing PCU would have been related with ICU stuff, plus it's a small hospital where everyone knows everybody and might be mentally healthy for me), and a M/S with Telemetry (one I probably will take, because the benefits are way better and would set me up for career growth being a Level II Trauma center and some tuition ***istance for when I pursue my Masters. Kind of terrified because it's a big hospital, and I wonder how toxic the people there are going to be potentially. Lots of hiring for new grads, which made me wonder if their turnover is high.) Anyways, yeah... I feel like it's gonna be a redemption arc of sorts. I can't thank you enough for being honest towards me with expectations and the reality of things.

Hi, I need help. I know, I should use the search functions and whatnot. I'm pretty overwhelmed with life at the moment and figured I should make an attempt to reach out like this (I'm still trying to look things up even as I post this, so know that I am trying). I can use some guidance/advice/suggestions. I have a BSN-RN from the Philippines (2013), currently here in CA endorsing my RN from Washington state. Never worked as an RN in my whole life. I got traumatized in college and hated nursing (I'm an introvert, wanted to be an engineer or a doctor, felt like nursing was a glorified maid/secretary work which was often abused) so I avoided it for almost a decade now. I have worked as a caregiver for 2 years, and as an LVN for 1 year (all long term care, dementia cases, geriatrics). I decided to give nursing another real shot, and realized that critical care, and perhaps being a nurse anesthetist down the road will be truly satisfying and fulfilling to me (not as much for the money although that is good too, but the kind of competence, independence, and the challenge that this will have on me). I learned that I should then get in ICU areas. However, as I look up residencies especially here in California (Bay Area), they mostly want fresh grads (within the last 12-18 months). Some Washington residencies seem to be receptive of old graduates like myself. However, as ICU is a competitive spot in such programs, I feel like my circumstances make my chances to be accepted at such as pretty low. I was able to talk to a Residency Coordinator at Silverdale, WA about these concerns; and she told me: They're looking for a person who is a good fit for the team. They can teach me the skills, but cannot teach me how to be a person. I don't know if she's just being nice. - Do you guys have any advice for my situation? I plan to keep on talking to Residency recruiters/coordinators; keep looking up programs even ones out of state. - If you know of a residency specifically that may be a good fit for me? - If another path aside from residencies that are viable to eventually land me in the ICU? - If I should represent myself in a certain way that will make it more likely for me to be competitive for such a position? Feels like I'm asking for something vague. My mind is not organized at the moment. I really want to start truly living again; have a purpose in life, work hard at something that matters to me; and have that kind of direction. Anyways, thank you very much for reading.