mzilos

I've reached the 1 year mark as a nurse and as I'm looking to transition into a new role (aka find a new job). I realized a few things 1) my first nursing job out of school traumatized the hell out of me because I started during COVID and I realized I was a slow learner/was not cut out of the pace of the floor, 2) I've been a clinic nurse for over a year now and I'm still not confident in my knowledge, and 3) feels like I have imposter syndrome. All that being said, I would like to try again on the floor, but not med-surg. I'm too afraid because I had a bad experience the first time around. My preceptor and educator were constantly gaslighting me, I wasn't quick, my med pass and assessments were slow. I didn't know what labs were vital, honestly even when I read through books on cardiac nursing, some things didn't make sense to me. And when I was honest that I didn't feel ready to be on my own, I got tossed somewhere else. Needless to say, my floor experience was so bad that it shot my confidence and made me never want to revisit acute care nursing again... until now, and I'm still hesitant. I wish I was cut out for something like ICU or even med-surg, but I feel like I'm just not cut out for nursing, period. I feel so lost now trying to figure out what I would actually be good at, but even with neuro I still feel like I don't know much.

Your experience describes mine in a nutshell. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I started on a tele floor-turned-COVID floor during the second wave of COVID last year and I felt like while I was learning a lot about COVID, I wasn't learning much about cardiac. Stuff wasn't clicking for me as quickly as I had hoped, despite my trying efforts and all the hard work I had put in. Instead I was constantly gaslighted by my preceptor and educator, at one point, they even questioned if "I really wanted to be there". It was insulting and disrespectful and I came to realize it was not a good fit, so I left before my orientation was over. Don't be so hard on yourself, maybe the pace of ICU is not for your right now, but that doesn't mean you can't gain experience elsewhere and try again in the future. You'd be surprised how much you can learn in different settings. Stay positive!

No, I have not gotten a single interview yet. I’ve been at this for about 2 months now. I have applied to home care, infusion, outpatient clinics (planned parenthood, MAT facilities, family care, etc), wound care, pretty much everything except bedside. I’m open to psych too, but haven’t seen any openings yet. Looking back now, I didn’t have an interest in cardiology to begin with and it was difficult for me to understand why you’d see XYZ with certain acute or chronic illnesses, why did the doctor order x drug, why is this test being ordered. My preceptor was tough, but at times I’d ask questions and she would tell me that she discussed it with me and would not address them anymore. She had very little confidence in me. My nurse educator also kept telling me I was asking too many questions, I didn’t understand why it was an issue. I know I’m supposed to. It didn’t help that my unit at the time was mostly COVID, and I felt pressured to be on my own sooner that I felt I was ready to go. I asked for an extension on my orientation and was told I couldn’t get one. Out of all the orientees, I noticed I was the slowest one. I was really excited to be on the floor, but as the weeks progressed, I felt myself fall behind and I’m sure I would’ve been a good floor nurse if I had more time. I know it wasn’t possible, but I’m a slow learner. I was like that in nursing school too. Even when I failed, I’d try again.

Hi everyone! I’ve been an RN for a little over a year now and my nursing career didn’t start off the way I had hoped. I was hired onto a tele unit and struggled all through orientation. In fact, I didn’t even make it through orientation. My educator just assumed I wasn’t trying hard enough and my preceptor had no faith in me whatsoever. I didn’t feel like I had the support I needed and despite all the effort I put in, they had me transfer to outpatient neuro where I have been now for almost a year. I’ve gained some experience and made it through my first year as a nurse, but now that I look back, I don’t feel like I know much. I’ve been applying to new jobs now, but it seems like no one wants to consider me and it feels like it’s because I lack the acute care experience. I would like to try again, but I’m terrified of failing again. I know I don’t do well in high pressure situations and I’m a bit slow with processing things in the beginning. It takes me a long time to get the hang of things, but I’m confident that once I get there, I can do a good job. All that being said, I don’t know what I’m qualified to do at this point. I have so many interests (infusion, wound care, psych, etc) but no matter how many places I apply to, I get rejected left and right. It feels like I’m the only one in this situation, among all of my nursing friends. Why did I struggle so much at the bedside? I feel so embarrassed. Any feedback would be great, thanks ?