midnighttokens

I am a new nurse. I graduated in August and I just got off orientation 2 weeks ago. I never worked healthcare before this. I’ve been working med surg but I get mandated to our COVID unit a lot. Last night, I had my first patient death in the COVID unit and I am feeling really guilty over it. My fellow nurses I was working with told me this is a normal feeling, but I can’t get over it. We are really short staffed, no aides throughout the entire hospital, and I feel like I don’t get to spend a lot of time with my patients or provide adequate care, especially in the COVID unit. I guess that’s where most of my guilt comes from. If I was just able to spend more time with them, do more, then maybe she wouldn’t have died. She did stop eating and drinking and taking her meds and the doctor already informed the family that without IV fluids or an NG tube she would most likely die, but the family did not want any of that. I guess I just need reassurance from my fellow nurses that I won’t feel like this forever.