Rosini

First, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I have talked with other nurses in my unit, but they all keep telling me ‘some people just can’t handle it, you need to learn to see the big picture’. But then I talk to nurses outside of my hospital and they respond much the same as you just have. But here I sit in this unit. I suck it up, put on my big girl britches, and go in every day. But I’m miserable and each day instead of feeling better, I am seeing more and more just how much I am responsible for. Am I being childish or dramatic? I don’t know. I know I am scared a lot. I know that I feel pressured to compromise care for reading through notes and so I figured I would come in here and seek counsel. Again thank you for your time. If anything, I feel less alone and more like just maybe this isn’t all about my lacking.

Our rounds consist of case management and the hospitalists. We are expected To provide who all is following the patient, whether or not they have signed off on the patient, and whether or not the plan is to discharge that day. If so, what are they waiting on (placement, home health, equipment, etc...). I know what I am supposed to know going in, but for the life of me I cannot get a hold of my morning enough to get the meds passed, assessments, and gather that info on 5 patients. I also can’t come in early right now because they closed our unit so my last 3 weeks of orientation have been floating. I don’t even know where I’ll be that day until huddle. That part I understand is part of the pandemic and won’t be the norm, but right now that’s my norm.

I am one week away from being done with my orientation. I am terrified to be on my own. I know everyone feels like this, but I really don’t know what I’m doing. I am expected to be in rounds by 9:30 and I never have time to find out what is going on with my patients. By 9:30 I have completed my assessments and passed morning meds, but where do you guys find time to read all the clinical notes to know what the big picture is. I feel like I either study my patients or actually care for them, but doing both I can’t seem to accomplish. Help please. I worked so hard to get here and I am so deflated and disappointed with myself. I knew nursing would be hard work, I don’t mind that. I just wasn’t prepared for the possibility that my best isn’t good enough.