Celestialbeing

My team and charge nurse relayed the same message to me so I am trying to believe it. Sometimes it just takes hearing it multiple times from multiple sources. Thank you so much for your reply! It helps to talk this out with other healthcare workers who get it

Acute rehab nurse here. Last night we were short staffed with just 2 nurses and one CNA. I had 6 patients. One was recovering from a stroke , completely aox4 left sided weakness vastly improving. I checked on my patients every hour. Her BP had run high all day which day shift said "they weren't worried about it until it reached 160s 170s" and patient was completely asymptomatic . I checked on her at 5am, she denied any dizziness, confusion, weakness, headache, said she felt fine, I noticed no changes, I took a set of vitals her BP was then Normal at 120/82 At 6am one hour later the CNA came and told me she helped her to the bathroom got her back in bed and suddenly she's "breathing hard". I immediately went in to check on her she was unresponsive , agonal breathing, I called code blue but we couldn't resuscitate her. The doctor running the code thought with her history of stroke this looked like a textbook brain bleed/hemorrhagic stroke. I cannot get this out of my head I feel like I missed something I feel so so terrible I cried I even cried in front of the family which im not sure was unprofessional or not. I feel like I failed her, I just keep combing over the night wondering what I could've done different, I'm already thinking of ways this will change how I practice trying to learn from this but I'm questioning if I should even be a nurse. ?