I read this at first and actually had to stop after the first couple of paragraphs... I thought, did *I* post this and forget!? It was a relief to know that I had not become suddenly afflicted with dementia AND that someone else in the world was going through almost exactly the same thing! Initially got my CNA license in 2010. However, I let my license lapse since my employer didn't require CNA licenses remain current... which was o.k. until I quit about 5 years later. Then I chose to stay unemployed for about 2 years altogether. In June (2019) I got my license back too!! But, starting as a new person in this role has been rough. However, each week I think my anxiety has gone down a little bit and my shifts are easier to get through. I still have moments where I feel a bit overwhelmed though. I wish I were faster than I am a lot of the time. I HATE asking my co-workers for help, because depending on who I am on the schedule with--some of them will help and others act like I am a complete jerk for even asking. My need to have someone be a partner on certain tasks is needed!... 2 people are legally required to use a Hoyer lift, for example. Some of the patients I am assigned to are just easier with 2, due to their conditions and size usually... I always offer to help whoever I'm asking--in returning the favor, but it's annoying that some of them just come across as irritated and hugely inconvenienced. I think some of the lack of cooperation is just about me being new. But who knows. Anyway, it was great to read that you were going through a lot of the same kind of stuff. Thank you for posting. Hang in there. I believe it will get easier for us!