willowmadrone

Thank you all for the empathy and encouragement and well wishes. I think I'm underestimating the impact of the sum of all the transitions going on, including moving away from a large community that feels like family. I'm glad to hear that it can get better.

Thank you for taking the time to reply, Luchador and not.done.yet. And thank you, not.done.yet for distinguishing between the distress of being completely green to the "hard" skills of nursing and repulsion by what nurses actually do—that's really helpful, and where I need to attain some clarity. And thank you for your empathy and reassurance that I'm not stuck. I've done some self-care since to get to a place where I can sort this out with a bit more calm than in the first days and weeks. But there's definitely a thread of tension, and a pit in my stomach. My "soft" skills—listening, communication, even boundary-setting—are pretty developed from working in the realm of social work and domestic violence/sexual assault survivor advocacy. My RN friends encouraged me toward nursing when I mentioned interest, saying that those skills are what matter the most in patient care, and that I'll learn the rest. That I'll do fine in a hospital environment, especially in the right specialty. I honestly think a bit part of my fear stems from hearing about burn out. Not having CNA or MA experience, I'm naive to what it's like being in the hospital. I'm worried that I've taken the plunge without enough info. What if I will be one of these nurses I hear or read about who graduates, starts working, and hates it after months or even years? I know what-iffing all over myself can go from being cautious to simply paralyzing. I'm curious if you have any insight on what to do with that what-if, not.done.yet?

Hey there. After a while of deciding between social work/counseling/psych related careers and nursing, I settled on nursing as a career with reliable income and job security that would satisfy the science-y, hands-on, and people-oriented aspects of my personality and mind. I loved, loved, loved all of my pre-reqs, and was among the highest grades in each class, and got that 4.0. Fast forward to the start of my ABSN program not too long ago, and I'm wondering if I've denied my intuition and gut instincts. After our orientation day, I went home and cried for (and, yes, this is embarrassing to admit) 5 hours off and on. After the first day, during which I felt on the verge of tears almost the entire time, I went home and cried. I'm terrified that though a large part of me knows my passions lie elsewhere, I just reasoned my way over to nursing for a decent salary (I've never made more than 28K in a year) and a job that seemed like it would do the trick for me, and my body and soul are not tolerating the betrayal. I was probably foolish in not getting my CNA prior to the ABSN to test the waters, but I heard of plenty of folks jumping in and doing fine. I'm curious what folks' and friends' and coworkers' experiences have been. Anyone have that awful feeling at the start—that questioning—and wish they'd listened? Anyone work through it and were stoked they did? And, having just started, with no dependents, should I leave now?