MamaBear2326

Thank y’all for your replies! Yes, I definitely know that I need to work on pushing through the nerves/anxiety of it all. It probably didn’t help that it was my first job since having my both of my children, so I was having some separation anxiety on top of it. There is another big hospital in my area that has a WAY better reputation than the one I worked at that I actually aspire to work at since it has a more advanced NICU, which is the one I’m shadowing at in the near future. I will still have clinicals at the one I worked at, but not sure where I’ll be for my ER rotation. My preceptor mentioned that they go through techs fast, so since I was only there for a few days, they may not remember me in a year or so if I even have clinicals there.

As a little bit of background info, I should start off by saying I’m taking my last pre-req before I apply to the nursing program this coming semester and I’ve been so excited about starting this journey! I’ve done great in all of my classes and have a great GPA. My overarching goal is to become a NNP after gaining experience as a NICU nurse. Anyway... I started as a PCT in the ER about 2-3 weeks ago and the other day, I walked out. I was SO excited to start and work PRN throughout nursing school. However, when I started, my anxiety skyrocketed to a level it has never reached before. I’ve never worked in healthcare so this was a culture shock for sure. I felt overwhelmed with everything I was supposed to learn. (Techs in the ER that I worked at also do Foleys & Straight caths, EKGs, and blood draws). Keep in mind this is also the busiest ER in the state due to the wide geographical area we serve. So the day I walked out, my 4th day on the floor, I was “walked through” on how to insert a foley. I had watched my preceptor do it a couple of times, but there was only one set of sterile gloves that were there so I didn’t have any additional hands to help, other than them holding the pt. I had never taken a class on it. In orientation, we were shown what a foley looks like, but not how to insert it. I thought it was crazy that they could have someone who had never worked in healthcare before insert a catheter by themselves on their 4th day on the job! Same with EKGs. Although less invasive, my preceptor had me doing those by myself while she stood in the room. Again, never taken a class over it or shown the proper way to place the stickers/leads, I was just basing it off of what my preceptor did (who had only been working there 6 months). I was waiting to take a class for that at the hospital too and I was supposed to shadow someone, but they have to have so many people in the class and they didn’t yet. So they just let me start doing it! All of this to say I was overwhelmed, anxious beyond belief, and uncomfortable doing such invasive things so early on that on my break, I bawled and had to leave because I couldn’t compose myself. I felt like I was making a fool of myself in front of patients and their family members because I was doing stuff that I had no idea how to do. I also came to the conclusion that I would NEVER want to work in the ER as a nurse. I don’t have the personality for it. Am I not meant to be a nurse? Was that a normal feeling and I just didn’t have what it takes? I’m kicking myself for not toughing it out and trying harder to learn, but at the same time I’m questioning why I was not being trained like I should (in my eyes I guess, I’m not sure what the norm is). I’m shadowing a NICU nurse soon at a different hospital and I’m excited about that, but also scared that I’ll realize it’s not for me even though it’s been my dream. Any one have any advice? Has anyone ever loathed a certain specialty? Thank you guys in advance.

Guess I should add that I’m not actually in the nursing program yet-am on my last pre-req.

So last week I started on the floor as a PCT in the ER. The week before, we had orientation in a classroom which was kind of a mess (we didn’t have a class over EKGs like we were supposed to and the nurse educators signed me and another ER PCT up for a 4 hour class one day that was not even needed for us). Anyway, I’ve never worked in healthcare before. My last job was the front desk at a hotel so I’m in a completely new world, but I’m a nursing major and have done awesome in all of my classes and I enjoy them! I’ve been so passionate about wanting to become a RN and work in the NICU and eventually become a NNP, but...I’ve HATED working in the ER as a tech so far. My anxiety is through the roof. I feel so dumb and incompetent. My 4th day they had me insert a foley on a pt and then a straight Cath on another as they “walked” me through it. I feel like I’m expected to already know how to do stuff like this and EKGs (even though I’ve yet to take a class over it) since I’ve seen it done a couple of times. I feel like my personality is very different from everyone in the ER because I’m more of an introvert and I thrive in an organized and less “crazy” environment. All of this to say: should I continue with nursing school? Did anyone else feel like this? It’s like I know I don’t want to work with adults when I graduate and especially not in the ER...but am I being too picky about what specialty I want? I’m feeling very lost!