Okay, I'm currently running on traumatic adrenaline and crippling depression, so forgive me if this comes out jumbled.
Today, I was at my practicum; I just have a couple of clinical days left before I graduate. We were on the resus team and attending a C-section in the OR. A nursing student in an earlier semester from another college was in the room with me. I had seen several C-sections before, but she hadn't, so I was telling her about the procedure. When it came time for time-out, they said "time out" and we stopped talking. When the baby was delivered, we had started discussing the procedure again, and she asked us to quiet down. We did. Then when the baby was on the mother's chest, the surgeon was suturing the incision, and conversations had begun around the room, the student started asking me questions about my nursing school and talking about other procedures she'd seen. The circulating nurse became angry and asked us to leave the room.
I returned to my floor and continued caring for my patient for several hours, regretting the incident but not realizing it had been so serious, when the unit manager approached me and asked me to come talk to her. I went into her office, and she said that she heard that we were talking in the OR and told me that I have to leave the hospital and said that I wouldn't be allowed to return at this time.
Now, I'll start out by saying that I know it wasn't professional to have a conversation in the OR. It was really stupid behavior, and it didn't occur to me that it was disrespectful until it was too late. I've never been disciplined for anything in nursing school, and I always try to keep my nose clean. Am I being unreasonable, or does this punishment sound a bit excessive? I paid my way through nursing school on my own, kept a 4.0, was never tardy or absent in class or clinical, always got high marks on all clinical evaluations without a single disciplinary issue or medical mistake, and always sought out nursing tasks and got stressed out when there was too much downtime. There's a student in my class who has been arrested twice for shoplifting while in nursing school, and she's still in the program. Another student was caught sneaking into an empty med-surg room and taking a nap on the bed multiple days during the semester, and she made a medication error that semester; she's still here too. But my nursing career is over before it even starts because of one instance of unprofessional behavior that I didn't realize was a big issue until after the fact?
I drove to my nursing department - barely breathing on the 45-minute drive - in order to meet with our clinical coordinator. One professor was trying to comfort me and told me that the coordinator is very pro-student and isn't going to destroy my future over a single incident when there had never been any warnings or communication of issues before being kicked out. However, when I finally got a chance to meet with the coordinator and another professor, they made things sound extremely dire, as if I'm likely going to be ejected from the program for this. They didn't say that outright, but they're meeting with the class' coordinator and deciding my fate tomorrow, and their wording and tone makes me feel hopeless about the outcome.
I'm absolutely horrified. I worked so hard to get here, and this seems like such an overblown situation to end someone's college career one month before graduation, when I've already sent out invitations and now have to explain to my loved ones that I'm a miserable failure. You might all disagree, and kicking me out of practicum might have been totally justified; I don't know. I just don't have anyone to talk to about this; I'm feeling genuinely depressed right now, and I needed to get this all off my chest to people who have been through nursing school. I'm open to any advice.
Thank you for reading this.