I just graduated in May of 2018. I had accepted my very first job offer the day I interviewed at a reputable, level 1 trauma center. I've been working there since July on a busy medical telemetry unit that also has a large patient population with neuro-related conditions (ex. brain mass, seizures). In this short time of working here, I have seen and learned so much! I am fortunate to have a relatively small RN to patient ratio of 4-5 patients. (Almost unheard of in the med/tele setting!) I am also a part of a one year nurse residency program and union. I also just became trauma certified. On the surface, it all sounds very wonderful.
However, in all honesty, I find myself dreading going to work. Please, don't get me wrong. I love nursing! But I am so emotionally and physically drained. I never wanted to feel like this, especially so new out of school. 2/3 of the nurses on my unit are brand new, and it feels like the blind leading the blind. When I seek assistance from my supervisor, I (and other nurses) do not receive support or guidance. It seems like a lot of "learn as you go", and I sometimes fear that my license is in danger (the MAIN reason I want to leave). I also drive nearly an hour to get there, and also have to take a shuttle bus from the parking garage, which takes an additional 15 minutes. I did consider this when I accepted the position... I didn't think it would bother me as much as it unfortunately does.
With all of this in mind, I am looking to apply to other nursing positions closer to home. My ideal work environment would be in a doctor's office, or even the OR at my local hospital. (I didn't even bother applying there initially, for two reasons. 1: People that work there seem to only get in if they know someone that already works there. 2: A nursing professor of mine said that if I can work at where I currently am, in a big city hospital, I can go anywhere). Many job descriptions in my area do not appear to require any more experience than I have.
What I am asking and hoping for is for some advice on:
1. How to cope with the feelings of uncertainty and stress as a brand new nurse.
2. Resume-building. I've included the name and type of facility and unit I am on, and described the patient population we care for. I believe I've included all pertinent information. Should I also include that I am in a nurse residency program?
3. When asked on why I am seeking other employment, do you think it is appropriate and professional to say that I am in need of something closer to home? I certainly do not want to shine negative light on how I feel at my current job. I don't want employers to only see me as a "quitter".
I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I just don't think I can go on working there for another 6+ months. I feel ashamed for feeling this way... I know it is a great opportunity. But I can't handle simply going through the motions every day. I am also newly married, and I'm cranky when I come home, or I just go right to sleep... or cry myself to sleep from what I feel was a bad day. Lol.
I'm sorry for this long post. I truly appreciate your feedback, and taking the time out of your day to read this. I'm just trying to find my niche in the nursing world.