NewGradBSN

thank you so much everyone for your replies! i knew this would be the right place to vent/discuss, simply because anyone not in nursing doesn’t really understand the whole situation. ok, so this week my nm met saw me in the morning and told me when i got a chance she'd like to talk to me. (she's a really nice and kind nm). i told her a little bit about the day, not too much, but enough to get the idea across. she had already heard from the nurse educator that i had a rough day. nm told me that she felt really bad b/c had she been there that day she would have never let this nurse precept. she said they've had problems with this nurse and other new grads before. this nm actually sits the nurse down from time to time and tells her point blank she needs to work on her interpersonal communication skills with her assistants, coworkers, patients etc. the nm also told me she would never precept me again, nor will she precept other new rns in the next long while, until she straightens out. she said if the situation between her and me continues to be shaky (not as a preceptor, but just as a coworker) then i should definitely tell my nm and she will do something. i feel so much better, especially b/c all the nurses on the floor totally understand me and realize right away that it was just an issue of being paired up with someone nasty. about the crying, i know it wasn’t a great reaction, but hey, it’s not something i was able to control! =) i was holding in the criticism the whole day, and when nurse educator came around it all came out. my only issue now is what do i do when i see this rn (our schedules haven’t coincided yet since that day). i don’t think i need to apologize, since i don’t see anything i need to apologize for (i’m not being stuck up at all. i have no problem apologizing if i would feel i could have acted differently in that situation). at the same time i really do want to make peace so at least we can greet each other with a smile... my nm claims she gets into these situations often and she easily blows it off and moves on. i'm not so like that... i don’t get into arguments with pple. the rare times that i do and i get hurt, i kind of remember it for a while. (i think that’s the downside of me being sensitive). i have no problem greeting her with a cheery hello, but i will feel two-faced doing that. i know you'll probably all recommend that i speak to her and discuss what occurred that day and how she/i felt. i however don’t think it’s the way to go. she’s not very rational in situations like this and she have a comeback for everything. lets hear your suggestions.... (once again, thank you so much everyone for your thoughts on the matter.)

Thanks for your replies. I dont think I will be the one to tell my nurse manager the story, but rather my nurse educator said she would speak to her first to keep the story objective. Then i'll fill in. It was more than a simple disagreement/uncomfortable criticism. It involved a lot more, but I'd rather not publicize it in detail b/c you never know who reads these threads. I will update you all, but until then, keep the suggestions coming.

OK, I'd love to hear some words from the wise about what happened - I'm a new grad RN who recently started on the floor. I'm toward the end of my orientation and am working with a staff RN as preceptor. There's one RN who I work with whenever she works, but the other days I'm paired up with someone different each day. What happened was I was teamed up with a nurse who seems to be the sore thumb on the floor. Every one else is kind, caring, helpful etc, while this nurse is just nasty to everyone. I usually get along very well with pple so I figured if I keep a low profile I'd survive the day with her. WRONG! This nurse was criticizing every move that I took *in front of the patients, doctors, and the nurse's asistant's*. She was nasty and rude when she could have just as well told me in private to correct certain things. I know I'm not dumb and stupid, and I also know that at this stage of the game there's a lot that I dont know. But to be treated this way the whole day was too much. My nurse manager wasnt in that day so I couldnt even go over to talk to her (not that I had the time to do that). I listened to her criticism the whole day, held it in quietly and was looking forward to day's end. Toward the end of the day, the nurse educator came around to check up on me and see what I was doing. (She checks up on all new orientees each day on orientation). She asked how my day was going, and before I knew it I burst out crying. We went to a private area and I told her about my day. Apparently this wasnt new to her because she told me, quote: "It would've been better for you to work yourself, than to work with her. She was never meant to be a preceptor to anyone." We talked some more, and I cried the whole time. Then she told me to finish up only two more things and then give report to my preceptor and call it end of day already. She also told me that when my manager comes back to work she will speak to her about this whole scenario. I went to wash my face while the nurse educator went to tell my preceptor that I had a rough day and I would just finish up a few more things and then go home, leaving the rest up to her. Well 10 minutes later when I went to give her report, she just stood there and screamed at me. "You have no right to go behind my back, you're ungrateful, etc...." It was horrible! I kept quiet and when she finished yelling I walked away and cried some more. My instructor told me to ignore her and just leave. She even escorted me off the floor. Thats the story, but I know its just the beginning. I know that the whole unit is probably talking about this incident the whole weekend. Monday I'm going to have to obviously talk it over with my manager, and my nurse educator will be there too. Its not going to be a simple get it over with scenario, because action will be taken. This is a nurse that noone likes, and she walks around gossiping about others, like shes porbably doing about me right now. This incident didnt just involve 2 pple, it included other nurses, nruse's assistants... Question is - what should I, and what should I not say when I speak to my manager (who happends to be very nice)? Do I tell all her about ALL the upleasant encounters I've had with her? I feel so horrible about this story that i cant believe it happened. I dont cry in public, I usually get along every well with pple... Help! What do I do now?