Illmarinen

I work at a small facility in the Bay Area as a unit manager. Currently, I'm taking serious measures to make a stride and take the open ADON job at my facility. It'd be a great accomplishment for me, especially considering I'm only 24 years old right now. But today I heard some things from my staff members (MHWs/MHTs, basically UAPs with a different title) that got me thinking about how to deal with how my staff perceive me. They very plainly stated that the current perception of me is that I have a stick up my keister. No uncertain terms. There was even a gesture involved. I was taken aback but I dug a little deeper. And apparently the current perception of me a right proper jerk, it almost sounded like. That I follow the rules a little too much, that I'm not as much fun to work with as I used to be. I've been there a little over a year and have made some serious strides, at least from my point of view, in being a good, professional nurse who maintains great rapport with my clients (we are a longer term psych facility). The whole deal was very startling. I thought of myself as being a least well-liked among the staff I usually work with, as I'm a very jokey, light hearted person who enjoys good food and hard work. But now I'm not sure how people feel about me and I don't know what impact it will have on me. One staff mentioned that the administration would be asking staff members how they feel about having me in this new position, and it was mentioned in a way that very heavily implied that quite a few of the staff would not be okay with that. So, what would you do in this situation? How do you manage your coworkers' perception of you in a way that allows you to get work done while still maintaining a good enough rapport? Is it more of a Machiavellian thing, where it's better to be practical and playing by the book than to be loved by everyone? Typing it out makes it seem so simple, but I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. My gut feeling is to keep playing by the book, stick to policy, and to just be myself. My hope is, if I can get into this position, I'd like to straighten out a lot of the organizational turmoil among nursing staff and get the facility back to a smooth flow while still maintaining our ability to have fun.

I'm 24 years old, I've been at this job for just about 9 months, and every second I'm here longer makes me terrified I'm going to lose my license.Some background: I started this job on a recommendation from a family member, and I liked what I saw originally. A smaller psych facility in the Bay Area. And then the trouble began almost instantly. My boss lost my background check paperwork twice and only dealt with it when I mentioned to the family member what had happened, and she mentioned it to the facility administrator, whom she is friends with. From there, it has been all downhill. Here's a list of everything that has happened:Hired on 9/25, didnt start until 11/13 because she lost the paperwork twice.Trained me with a noc shift nurse who then slept through both of my training days after telling me incorrect information on how to do my job.Did not bring up any issues with me until late March/early April, recounting issues in February and back, no follow up for almost 2 months despite me being new and her knowing that I would need some observation.Did not actually do my 6 month review when she said she would, in fact, 6 month review became meeting where she told me she was completely unimpressed by my job performance and did nothing but write down a vague plan of improvement that she has not ever followed up on or referenced since.Every meeting has been premised by "catching up", "nothing bad", but then followed by intense socratic questioning and "gotcha" games to try and make me look like I did something improperly.First 3 meetings were nothing but question after question and her admitting she didnt know how to help me, then taking time off and coming back.Gave the ADON responsibility of checking my charting, zero feedback this far in 2 months of it being an issue.Brought another nurse into our meeting to "witness", when in reality he continued to "suggest" I was wrong and I had not remembered correctly, when in reality she was completely incorrect, felt like coercion and bullying.Has said she needs to retrain me, has had one single meeting with me after identifying areas where I needed improvement, and is now taking what amounts to 9 days off despite my review date approaching.Continually focused on solely the negatives instead of identifying positive factors as well so that there is some semblance of me being a whole person with both strengths and opportunities to improve, as opposed to being completely incorrect.Told me that eval period was extended one month when it was actually extended over 3 months (meeting was 5/10, eval final date is 8/17)Tried to pin other peoples incorrectly done work on me despite knowing what my signature and the other person's signature and handwriting look like.Gave me false information about calling licenses staff for MHW positions when she knew the union needed to have a stake in it and could potentially file paperwork.Overall, continued unfair treatment with increasingly obvious favoritism and zero parity among staff when it comes to treatment. Obstinate refusal to show any kind of attempt to work with me until the last possible moment, when she then decides to take more time off. Has placed all onus of follow up on me and other people instead of being actively involved like she is claiming to be. No follow up from the start, zero communication and what little attempts at communication she has made have mainly ended in her telling me she doesnt know how to help me despite me mentioning how I best learn and actively asking for examples to help me understand. Other people have made it blatantly obvious I am doing a good job and feel safe and confident with me as a manager and nurse.Other workers have had major issues as well. For example, workers who have been there longer than 5 years are given incredible leniency. Half the regular staff show up, more often than not, 15 minutes or more late without any courtesy call or notification. Their incorrectly or half done work that is often left for their next shift goes overlooked and uncriticized.I understand that favoritism and preferential treatment exist in the real world, despite my hope and desire for meritocracy to rule out over all. But I'm really at the end of my rope here. I'm walking on eggshells more than ever before (and being a 6ft2in, 320+lbs male nurse with size 14 quadruple wide feet brings new meaning to it), and seeing or even hearing from my boss is enough to get me choked up and panicky. I do my best to appear calm and collected in meetings, not be on the defensive, ask lots of open ended questions, etc., but everyone I've talked to seems to think that I need to look elsewhere. So, my more experienced and collected nursing friends, what do I do? It seems that HR won't be an option, from what I've read here. Do I just pack my bags and move away from here as quickly as possible? What sort of attitude do I take up? I've recently begun to stand up for myself and assert that I have strong positives going for me and I'm not just completely incompetent. (I graduated from a private school university in 4.5 years right out of high school, I'm outgoing, friendly, professional, all the right intrinsic qualities you'd want in someone who cares for you.) Or am I just wacky and feeling a persecution wind blowing me back?