nurs3.up

Hello! I'm a LVN nursing student in second term. I've been with G-Tube patient since April this year. I just started yesterday with my second patient who takes meds by mouth (P.O.). Yesterday I gave all the medications prescribed for morning. My clinical teacher was present to watch me. I was slow due to explaining and giving meds. I did not know that on bubble packs, the number corresponds to the day of the month. I followed the next bubble to be popped. There was 2 packs of same medication, Valporic Acid, 250mg each tablet & patients dose is 500mg. I gave both medications & my clinical teacher saw me cause I was going slow. 10 minutes later I get called into hallway, asking me if I gave meds & of course I said yes because I did. I know I did, I remember. The nurse said I was lying & this is my profession-I have nothing to lie about. She also said I had an attitude problem to teacher when I always do my best to be polite and kind, share my smile with others. Today, I'm preparing meds to give to first patient and the nurse gave me one of her meds, I was so caught up in making sure I got the bubble pack right, I checked medication but not patient's name. I blanked. I accept all blame and fault eve though she handed wrong medication. I went to give my patient her meds & my teacher has never been with me to watch me, & I tell the patient their medications I'm giving. I come back and my clinical teacher is asking me if I'm crazy, if I'm stupid, can't read. I was frozen in words and I could hardly reply, mixed between feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable feeling released through my body. I told her that the nurse gave me the wrong patient's meds even though she knew the patient I administer meds to especially since we were talking about meds I needed for my patient. I'm only human and I feel horrible. I just want to improve but I was told to leave, go home. I don't know who to talk to. I'm sitting in a fellow classmate's vehicle since my vehicle was totaled last year. I don't know if I should talk to DON, but I'm scared. I'm only a student, I'm only human. I know the time to make any mistake is when you're learning so you don't repeat again. Any input is much appreciated. Thank you & have a good day!