H662

Thanks so much for responding. In the AM I was researching my meds using lexicomp, I didn't get enough time to do the rest because she wanted to give the meds earlier so I wasn't prepared. She definitely wanted me to critically think but on spot like that I totally blanked and told me to look it up which I did and came back with the answer. Then more questions I couldn't answer I just felt judged for not knowing. It was a ****** feeling. I understand that I won't know everything I agree with what you said there. There's no way only being one day a week I can learn like that. I know I shouldn't compare myself as we have different experiences. Come consolidation where I'm on floor for 2 weeks maybe I'll feel more confident then. I'm definitely going to do better next clinical shift and look more into lab values and understand medications affecting what value. Thank you for your input, I appreciate the help.

Today in clinical sucked. I was put on medications and throughout my instructor was asking me questions about each one, which I was answering. Then it came to ones I wasn't so sure about. I wasn't given enough time to research. I know what diuretics were but she was asking me the different types, how they affect the body, what lab values I would look for and I was drawing blanks. For some reason I couldn't answer the question. It was hard for her to hold back a judgmental look on her face which made me feel even worse. After being questioned throughout and not knowing the answers I felt terrible. I went to the bathroom and cried because I just feel incompetent, how did I not know the answers? How can I write a final and get an A but can't even answer simple med questions about my patient. I felt so stupid and disappointed. My whole day was thrown off because of it. I ended up messaging my brother (who's a nurse) and telling him how I felt, he said it's normal to feel like you know nothing. I know my brother is an excellent nurse, even as a student nurse he excelled well. I know I shouldn't compare myself but it's hard being looked at as a second sibling that these instructors know and I feel like I don't even come close to how he was. Maybe im being too hard on myself I Just wish I had more clinical time to prove to myself that i can do this and be more involved. It doesn't help we are only one day a week on hospital floor.