Amethyst_RN

Thank you for the replies. I know you're right. I actually did have trouble with the copy/fax machine, haha. I definitely know more than I did my first day, and I do take some comfort in that. It makes me hopeful that I, too, will be able to work confidently a year from now. For right now, though, I'm dreading work. Reading posts about others that have felt or currently feel the same helps so much. It's easy to feel alone and like you're the only one struggling. Makes it worse, I think. Maybe that's why I feel so awful about this. The nurses I work with have all been there for at least 3 years and seem to get through their shift so smoothly (well, as smooth as a shift can go on the psych floor). I watch them in awe because I want to be able to work like that. Yes, I know they didn't start out that way. They learned just like I'm doing. It's just hard to be the only one struggling to stay afloat. I wish there was another new grad on the floor. Someone in the same boat. We'd be going through the same things and could support each other and all that. You know?

My first 3 days working were great. I was learning the ropes, soaking up everything anyone said, taking copious amounts of notes, asking questions, and generally just observing what the nurses actually do when it comes to taking care of the patients. I was excited to come in. The past 2 days, however, I've wanted to break down and cry. Things were really hectic and staffing was a bit of an issue so everyone was kind of stressed out. Discharges. Admissions. Medications to be passed. I felt completely overwhelmed and incompetent. Every time a patient would ask me for something, I would say, "Hold on, let me just ask the nurse". Then I'd feel stupid because I'M the nurse. That's ME. My preceptor was holding down the fort AND trying to make sure I was doing okay. I felt bad. I tried to help as much as I could. I asked questions if I was unsure of something. I just kept it moving. At the end of shift, my preceptor thanked me and said I did a really good job and stepped up when it was needed. I appreciated that, but at the same time, had no idea exactly what I was doing. If that makes sense. There's so much I see them doing (calling the doctors, putting in orders, etc) and I wonder if I'll ever be able to move about independently like that. Doing my work. Taking care of my patients. Making sure everything that needs to get done is done. Right now...it doesn't feel like I will. I love mental health. I love this hospital, even though I've only been here about a week. The people I work with are all fantastic. They're supportive and friendly. They don't mind answering my questions. I can come to them if I ever need help or anything. Everyone works well together. I just feel so ill-equipped and like I don't belong. I had the thought twice the past 2 days that maybe a hospital isn't right for me. Maybe I need an outpatient environment or clinic...something less hectic, which makes me feel like a failure. I've been telling myself to just breathe and relax. I'm a brand spanking new grad. Of course I'm going to feel incompetent and lack confidence. This is all new to me. Once I've been at it a few months, it'll get better. Sure, it might still get crazy, but that's the thing. I wouldn't mind it as much if I just knew what to do. Which, again, can only come with more experience. I get it. I just don't like not knowing what to do and why. I don't like feeling lost. I don't like feeling dumb. I want to do a good job. I want to be a great nurse, and right now, I don't even feel like a nurse, period. I feel like a regular person that somehow got RN stuck after her name and now has to keep up the charade. I've read so many threads here on new nurses, new psych nurses, psych nursing, and anything that had something to do with feeling scared, anxious, overwhelmed, or terrified. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I just really hate it.

Thank you for the replies. I will keep in mind the PRNs and make sure to stay as organized as possible. I always carry a notepad and write things down religiously. I will be on an adult inpatient unit in a hospital. I know that during my orientation period I will have CPI training. I'm familiar with this because it was briefly covered during our mental health rotation in school, but I'm nervous about actually utilizing it with patients. I know confidence and feeling comfortable will come with experience. I think I'm just going to let everyone know that I really am interested in learning anything and everything I can. I'm hoping that will get me through the rough patches.

Thank you so much! That was very helpful. I will definitely stay curious. I love learning about psych and anything related. I always want to know more and appreciate any time I can talk with someone that has more experience and knowledge.

I landed my first nursing job in psych and I'm psyched! (That was lame, I'm sorry). I am super excited, though. I have always been passionate about mental health and to finally be able to do what I've dreamed about is...unbelievable. That being said, I also happen to be terrified. I don't know what to expect. I think what's worrying me so much is navigating the computer, charting/assessing multiple patients, and dealing with contacting doctors when necessary. I know that I'm new, so it will take time to learn, but I want to do a good job. If anyone has any tips or advice on creating a routine or little things that help them, I'd appreciate it. I've read all the posts about what a psych nurse's day looks like, but if there are any new psych nurses that want to share their day and what they do, I'd love to hear it.