Portperry09

Hello all! I'm new here but I've been reading allnurses for years now. This will be my first post... I guess I should start with saying how much I love to nursing school and how great I was at it, I graduated this past April and started my first job, full-time float position in October. I had 12 weeks of training but it definitely did not prepare me for my float position. The 12 weeks was in just two units, a medicine unit into surgery unit. Since then I have floated all throughout the hospital. I am a Registered Practical Nurse here in Ontario but in the hospital I am in, the scope is identical to that of a registered nurse however we do not float to ICU or NICU/L&D. I took this position on the float team because it was a full-time position, however every single day I find that I am crying and dreading going into work, it is always so hard, and they always pile on the hardest assignments, and sickest patients. So many times I have been in over my head and needed to get assistance but find it extremely difficult because the floor nurses don't know you because you are a float nurse as well as a new graduate. Like I said, I have been in this full-time role since October, but only on my own for the past month and a half, I definitely had a panic attack before work today and I am definitely considering quitting. I am searching for other jobs but it is very hard to find another full-time position. I am sure I could potential he be good at the job if I put in the time, but I am not sure if I can deal with the stress and anxiety that comes every single day. I feel like I am not good enough, not strong enough as a nurse and not prepared enough to deal with these patients and patient loads. I used to love nursing and now I honestly don't want to be any part of it. Everyone says this is a standard feeling for a new grad, but I feel so terrible I don't know how people could continue nursing after this feeling... feeling lost and confused.