Nursenotslave

Thanks everyone for your responses. It's still giving me anxiety and keeps playing over and over in my head and it was such a stupid mistake that I can barely remember how it happened, if I was just looking at the cord backwards and didn't think before I gave directions or whatnot, but I am trying to work through it and your responses have helped a lot. This happened months ago but still bothers me because I never got confirmation of whether or not Dad has video of it, or if anything happened to the baby after discharge. :/

I meant to ask in my last comment if there could be any damaging effects of the blood loss/my stupid mistake in general? And if there is video of me giving wrong directions on cutting cord, could that come back to hurt me at any point? Sorry just super anxious about this, it's eating me alive, and not sure where else to turn. Thank you

Thank you. That honestly makes me feel so much better. Like I said, I still to this day don't know if there's a video and it worries me because I could have potentially told Dad to cut in wrong spot and if that's on video that's what stresses me out. As far as I know there was no harm done. No labs were even drawn to check H&H and I saw them days later unclamp a dried up cord. Would there be any long term effects from this little blood loss? And would having that on video come back to bite me even if there was no harm done? Thanks again

Tried to help dad cut cord during delivery while my preceptor was out of the room for something quick. Was still on orientation. It was cut below clamp and can't recall if I told him to cut there specifically or not. Minimal bleeding, reclamped and labs not even ordered by MD and infant followed healthy newborn course until d/c. I was told not to worry about it, no harm no foul, but there was question if dad had it on video. Manager asked if I told dad to do it wrong and I said I couldn't remember and that if they want to know about video to ask because I wasn't looking for his phone during this. I think that's the part that stresses me out the most. This happened a few months ago. Worried for the responses but I've been up all night panicked, it's haunting me. Please help. Sincerely ready-to-quit RN.

I completely understand how you are feeling. I've been an RN for almost 2 years now and still trying to find my fit and what works for me. Starting out I worked the night shift (11pm-7am) on a medsurg/tele unit. I've never had serious anxiety before in my life (except nursing school exams) until this job. I cried before work, thought about calling out all the time, HATED it and questioned why I chose this profession in the first place. I still question myself and this choice I made to be a nurse but I just keep telling myself that it's because I haven't found my place yet in the profession. I just accepted a new position in an MD office and hope to maybe go back for my MSN and become an NP in the next few years. The hospital craziness just isn't for me and I want to have a life again. I want weekends off to see my friends, I want to spend the holidays with my family, and I want to be human again. Nursing is NOT my life, it is just a part of it. I think the nights burnt me out really quick. They are not for everyone and I have NO shame in saying that they are not for me. Don't give up just yet. This is not a position that you have to stay in for the rest of your career. Just gain experience, take it for what it is and all the while, continue to look for something else. Find sanity in your coworkers and make the best of the situation. Hope this helps, and just remember that many of us know exactly how you are feeling.