CoffeeNetflixRepeat

Hello all! I'm a new grad that has been working on a med-surg/tele floor of a large hospital for 6 months. I had eight weeks of orientation and have been on my own since. I have had some rough nights, critical patients, seasoned nurses cutting me down, overload of admissions, and unsafe patient ratios because of lack of staffing. But I have done my best to keep my patients safe. None of those things are special to my situation and I know that. I also know that I need to be patient with myself since I'm still learning. But I don't think I'm cut out for hospital nursing. I had a situation where I spent all night helping out the other nurses with their admissions, passing meds, answering call lights. But the moment I needed some guidance on my patient's status changing no one could be bothered. I was verbatim told I was being ignored. And I broke. I couldn't stop myself from crying, which I have never done regarding work related issues. I was told right away I didn't have the option to cry, my patients needed me. And it's true, my blubbering was not helping them. I deeply embarrassed my usually incredibly calm self, but more importantly it made me realize I can't be a nurse in that situation. The real question I have is how can I go to another employer and not have them think less of me for only staying at my first nursing job for less than a year? My other work history is great, I was an aid at my last job for over three years and had glowing recommendations. I take so much pride in what I do, so I just feel like such a failure I couldn't succeed in the hospital.