TBH, you need to have thicker skin. I work in an ER in the ghetto and we deal with people like that on the daily. I have been called a b*** and beyond, just for doing my job, and even for things completely unrelated to me. And let me just clarify that I am extremely hard working, and many coworkers and patients have told me that they enjoy working with/being cared for by me. Its just that there's a special breed of people out there who are a little extra special. There are two issues here, and neither of them is you. The biggest one is the doctor bringing the coffee. Completely inappropriate. The doctor set you up for what is called a simple-assault by giving an aggressive patient a projectile, and walked away. The second problem is that the patients dont dictate their care. You are not there to be directed by them, you are not there to serve them, you are there to offer care as outlined in their care plan or orders, in line with medical protocols. And you arent there to be abused. I have been asked by uncountable abdominal pain patients for food, and when they are denied due to protocol for abdominal pain they go off. And I mean OFF THE WALL, cursing, throwing furniture, screaming... and im suppose to say "okay well if you want the sandwich you can have it but the consequences are yours" with a smile? Nope! We dont facilitate illness.ITS A LIABILITY. They are more than welcome to have those things, but Im not giving it to them. I would say that I would have confronted the physician about her involvement in the incident (right away, not days or weeks later), and document her actions, as well as the patients. You can also write up a physican. And as for the patient, f*** that guy. You dont owe him, and you dont need to feel guilty or rescue him just because he has medical problems. I have seen really sick people get kicked out of the ER for assaultive behavior. People have to be civil to get help. They are not owed unconditional help. The people offering the help and resources are in charge, disrespect gets the boot. And mentally handicapped patients and behavioral patients get treated with behavioral protocol, with all their belongings taken away and rigid limitations on food etc.. to designated meal times. They stay in a designated psych room, with even fewer freedoms with a security nearby. But he's A&O, and capable of making his own decision, so keeping that patient after he threw a fit to get his way only reinforces bad behavior and sets you up for future abuse. Once the IV is out and the paper is signed there is no going back. There is no "Im sorry" after the fact. Thats the arrangement of abusive relationships. I probably come accross as insensitive, but I do have compassion for these people, I understand they are suffering. But that doesnt equate to "they get to swear and torment and assault those that offer help." You can only do your best, and be professional, and thats what you did. You didnt treat him inhumanely. You allowed him to make his own choices, which is humane, respectful and professional. His situation has nothing to do with you, he is mad at the world and you wont be able to fix that, so brush it off and move on. But next time, put a halt on that dr before she really gets you hurt.