donsco

Hi, I'm a newly graduated RN in BC, Canada, and just got my first job as a casual on a med/surg floor of an older community hospital. I'm in my first month and still orientating on the unit, but basically I feel utterly hopelessly inadequate, overwhelmed, and defeated. Also, really alone as the nurses on my unit who all know each other don't really include newbies in their social banter during their down times. So, this adds an element of social isolation and a feeling of being alone and unsupported to the task of learning the new job. To add to this, the unit is very busy, chaotic, disorganized and also filthy, making it an extremely negative-feeling workplace. I'm trying my best to learn as fast as I can, but every day inevitably brings tons of things I've never encountered, I have loads of questions, and basically feel clueless and demoralized. Could this be just the unit I'm working on, or is any job likely to feel this awful at the beginning? I preceptored in med/surg. at a newer hospital that I loved (but wasn't hiring). I'm just not sure if I should stick it out at a place I hate, or try to get hired casual somewhere else as well. I try to feel positive, but it is getting harder and harder. I feel really discouraged and emotional and have cried a couple of times at work. It feels like I am punishing myself each and every time I go in for a shift. Has anyone else experienced feeling like this when they were new? Any words of wisdom or advice would be so appreciated. Thanks.