CocoBebo

Hi, I know this thread is old, but I have been having a little bit of trouble finding this topic or anything relatable. I am 22 and I am in nursing school, I have had symptoms of mental illness for a little while that has progressively gotten worse. I am pregnant right now, and I feel like becoming pregnant has made my symptoms worse. I am afraid to talk to a doctor about what it might be, because I'm afraid I won't be able to find a job if my employer asks about any illnesses I may have. Is this an issue you experience or have experienced? My grandma had schizophrenia, and I know how difficult it was for her to finish normal tasks in her daily life, and I hope I don't become that bad. I have been very depressed, but I still Ace my tests and take care of myself. I don't recognize myself in the mirror, haven't for a few years, and it scares me sometimes. When I'm alone in my house at night, I always feel like someone else is there, walking behind me or in my room. Sometimes I see things in my room, but I usually cover my head and have an anxiety/panic attack type episode for an hour or more, and then I am OK. It has started to effect my sleep and my dreams. Sorry, I know this is a long post.. Another thing is that, when I did try to talk to doctors about my symptoms, they have brushed me off or dismissed me and just said I needed sleep. I don't have the money to see a doctor now, I stopped working when I became pregnant, well.. It was actually when my grandma died in November. I got pregnant in March. It's just hard for me to keep friends and I have had trouble in the past with my ex's family calling me names, saying I was crazy and needed to be medicated.. I think it made me worse..