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Thank you both for your comments. I appreciate the advice and feel a little better. I'm definitely taking your comments into consideration and working on ways to deal with it. I've got a long way to go and reading comments on this blog seems to be helping. Thank you again

I never thought after three years of nursing I would be inthis position all over again. So as mentioned I've been a nursefor three years. Nursing was my first job ever and over time I've managed togrow from being a very socially awkward and nervous individual. I started outbeing afraid of everything but experience helped me gain confidence. Ieventually moved onto a new facility where I worked for a year. While I alwaysmake sure I respect and am pleasant to my coworkers, I couldn't help but feel thata few of the nurses did not reciprocate the same behavior. I ignored it becauseI can easily adjust to all types of personalities. However a year into it, Irealized that all of the negative energy was making the work environment toxic.I soon realized, the nurses (all levels) were always placing blame on eachother for everything wrong that happened even when it was no one's fault. I'mtalking very petty to very extreme mistakes/incidents. It was ridiculous. Then one night, I had a terriblework experience that completely shattered the confidence I've managed to build.FYI I did not hurt anyone or even come close to it. However, it was more of a situation where I felt I was being blamed for actually helping a patient whentheir nurse wouldn't. While I knew I didthe right thing as a nurse and even more, as a human being, I chose to leave that environment. Even when I left though I was so annoyed by the situation that occurred and the way my fellow nurses made me feel. I took a step back for a few months to think about where I wanted to work next. I was overwhelmed with the thought of having to work like this again and eventually grew fearful of having to work in an environment where I'm being blamed. I recently started working at a surgical center just to get back in the groove and to start slow. So much time has passed though that all of my initial fears of when I first became a curse resurfaced. I have no problem when I'm with my patients; I am most calm and pleasant around them. My coworkers are nice and respectful, but all of my social awkwardness and insecurities have come back again. I'm so uncomfortable and self-conscious around them, that it's starting to affect the way I work when they're around. Ex: If I have to start an IV and a surgeon or OR nurse is there standing over me, I am more prone to messing up. Additionally, while I maintain respect and try my best to bepleasant, I ultimately keep to myself and avoid small talk. It's been a few months, and this is still an ongoing issue. I can tell many are also avoidingme and I somehow feel they may think I am incompetent. How can I fix this? Does anyone share similar experiences and what have you done to overcome this? I ultimatelyknow that my patients and their safety are really my priorities. But clearly my previous experience has negatively impacted the way I deal with my current coworkers and I don't want it to affect my nursing care.