momo0415

Hello, i am a new nurse and have been having difficulties adjusting to being a nurse. I have come to this site for advice as I am at a loss of what to do. I am new new to OB and work on postpartum unit and I am scared out of my mind. I have my good days where I feel okay in my abilities and I have other days (which come too often) to where I question why I thought I could ever be a nurse and how I ever got licensed. my main struggle is the responsibility, what if I missed an order? What if I missed something with my patient? What if that wasn't her fundus I just felt and it really is boggy? What if this and what if that? Just constantly overthinking. I try talking to my classmates about it and all I get are head shakes and eyes rolled. Why am I the only one to deal with these insecurities? I have started to think nursing isn't for me? What do I do? Throw in the towel? Admit that I failed? I wasted 6 years of my life? I am struggling with this career and it has only been 5 months! How can I do this for 30+ years! I enjoy my patients and the difference I make in their life, but I can't forget that I have a life as well and I shouldn't neglect mine as well. I can't sleep at night I am eating way too much and I have zero energy and desire to do anything but lay in bed and watch tv. I was starting to feel okay and then then this past week I had a patient who's blood pressure was low and I could not figure out as to why! I had 3 other nurses double check things with me and assess her and still we could not find out why. I called md and was told to run fluids at a high rate for her, but her blood pressure did not increase much. I felt defeated, like I failed that day. Now I'm panicking that the patient tanked and it is all my fault? Maybe I should have pushed the doctor for more? The shoulda coulda wouldas rolled in. Now I'm dreading going back to work out of fear that something happened to my patient and I missed it and now it's my fault. Then I begin to feel embarrassed that the new nurse did that. Has anyone been here before? What did you do? Did it ever get better? Idk what to do! Please help me.