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People that are the epitome of zen don't feel the need to state that they are the epitome of zen. Fyi

Just because I'm feeling fiesty atm.... @CapaJensenCNA I never tried to separate myself from anyone. So why don't you just relax and eat a peep. Happy fricken Easter. @emergentRN I'm defensive? What am I supposed to do? Just sit here and let some of you believe that I am trying to use my personal life as an excuse and rip me a new one? Honestly, maybe you're right. This is just a blog so why would I care what random people on the internet think about me? I'm on here for encouragement people! What happened to encouraging our fellow nurses? You too eat a peep! @criticalACNP Thank you for the support, it has become more obvious to me every day that in the majority of our population it's hard to find people that are genuinely there to selflessly help others.

Well, looks like I hit a nerve. Geez, you all just love to put words in my mouth as well. Some fine nurses you are. I hope to never be under your care.

Well no, as I said in my previous post I did not mean to come across that way. The reason I did mention those things was I was hoping to of found someone that has been in a similar situation that I could relate to, and honestly reading the numerous posts saying, "I had this many kids and blah blah blah and I still made it." Ok, good for you. What would you like? A cookie? I know it can be done. I just want to meet the HUMBLE people that can admit that hey they got so close to not making it, maybe they even failed a couple of times but they never gave up and they're better nurses because of it. Because I guarantee you I'm going to succeed no matter how long it takes me and in the end I'm not going to brag about how I made it with kids and my situation. I'm going to be real, humble, and admit that I failed but I picked myself up and I'm going to encourage the discouraged. Because we need more nurses like that. I trust someone that has been broken and made awful mistakes and then came up victoriously from those mistakes than those that were "perfect" and never made a mistake. Because in reality we are all human and I'm sure none of you are close to perfect. So quit pretending and being self righteous.

I'd like to make this SUPER clear, I NEVER said or intended for anyone to feel sorry for me or to look at my situation and excuse me for my medication errors due to my personal life. NEVER. So trust me, I am OWNING it. I made a mistake. NO I know I can't say that to a family who's family member died because of my medication error but THANK GOD that I am going through what I am going through because I'd much rather be making mistakes now than when I'm alone and actually practicing with ZERO supervision. I NEVER blamed my kids for my mistakes, not my home environment, or my past, if it is misunderstood that I am then please show me where in my post that I insinuated that and I will apologize. I clearly said that I felt stupid and I knew what I did was wrong. So just to clarify: I KNOW that the only one in control of my situation and my actions on the floor is ME and me only. I am NOT using my kids, personal life ANYTHING as an excuse and I apologize that I did not make that clearer.

I don't remember asking anyone to feel sorry for me.

The patient had dementia ans she was staring out into space. I talked to her and told her I was going to give her some medication and she stared blankly at me and clenched her teeth when I tried to administer it.

Well great, not even two months later I've made another medication error. I've had several sucessful clinicals (about 6) after that last incident and well, lets just say with this last one I have to make an appeal again. I had two patients for the first time and everything was going great but then I didn't scan the medication of a Nitroglycerin patch for my patient. I had never used this topical medication before and I was so occupied with making sure that I was applying it right that I was careless. I didn't scan the med, I didn't sign it. As soon as I got to the nurses' station one of the nurses asked me if I scanned the medication and signed it and I said no and went back immediately to do so. I feel so stupid! This week has been kinda nuts, my two boys are on their spring break and they've been extra needy this week, I previously have heard from other nursing students that this particular nursing instructor was handing out unsatisfactorys left and right so I was a little more nervous. But honestly, I've had this instructor before and she has told me in the past that I have been one of the best students she's had in clinical! So yeah, I wrote my humbling appeal letter begging for forgiveness once again. If it does not get accepted I will have to start this program all. over. again. I am 29 and living at home with my parents and I've noticed in myself slowly throughout the past two years since I've moved back home that my confidence and motivation is slowly fading and I don't understand why! Is it because my dad doesn't want me to work because he wants me to focus on nursing school? But seriously I am still doing awful so maybe if I worked and had a little one bedroom apartment I might feel more motivated and organised to do better at nursing school. I was married for 8 years to a military guy and was just a stay at home mother (he didn't want me to work) so I definitely believe that also has contributed to me not really having any real discipline or work ethic. I don't know but I REALLY need to get my head in the game here if the dean does decide to let me continue in the program because I have no room left to fail.

I just received an e-mail from the dean saying that she is going to wave my clinical failure so I am going to be allowed to continue in the program! I am so thankful! I am going to be super careful from here on out! This was a scary lesson that I never want to have to repeat again.

I completely agree. Due to my limited time to respond I've already had a meeting with the dean and I'm waiting very anxiously for her answer. In my appeal I made sure not to place blame on the instructors and I tried to make it as clear as possible of how sorry I am for my mistake and how I will do everything in my power from here on to practice safe nursing care. I could tell from her reaction that this is going to be a very difficult decision for her but I know that whatever she decides is final and I'll have to deal with the consequences. Regardless, I still feel that nursing is my calling and I will learn my lesson and do what I can to be reaccepted into the program next year.

@ AliNajaCat I agree with most of what you said.... but the instructor did leave the medicine with me.... who is also unliscenced alongside my nursing peers. But I can see how the program wants for me to take responsibility for MY patient and their medicine. When I'm a liscenced nurse I am to completely take over the care of my patient. Nurses are to be independent and not rely on the 'expertise' of their peers. Only superiors with extensive training such as head nurses or practitioners....or in my case clinical instructor...... I just really hope they know I learned my lesson. I don't know how to convince them that I truly have and I will never EVER do something like that again.

It's my second time :-/ First time was I was wearing fake nails (stupid of me....I know).

I have a very big concern. I have recently received a clinical unsatisfactory due to me leaving prepared medication on a medicine cart. I had originally prepared the medication (mixed pills in applesauce) and attempted to administer it to my assigned patient who was unresponsive and refused. I then asked another nurse to help me administer about 1/3 of the medication but that's all my patient would take. I then went to the medicine cart with my remaining medication and there were 4 other nursing students hanging around the cart and the clinical instructor was not present. I asked all of them their opinion on what I should do with the remaining medication and one person said to just throw it away. I wanted to be sure I was doing the right thing so I set the medication down on the cart right in front of the other students and said I was going to look for the clinical instructor to see what I should do. It was during this time that one of the working nurses came and asked who's patent the medicine belonged to and the other students said it was mine which resulted in the nurse not being too happy and reporting it to my instructor. I know, in hindsight, that I should have taken the medicine with me regardless of who was standing around the medicine cart. But is it justified for me to be kicked out of the whole nursing program and have to start again all over? I have an 88 in the class. Be honest, I can handle constructive criticism.