Professional Misconduct

my son has adhd. he also has a hard time controlling himself when he gets frustrated. when i get a note from the teacher telling me my son had to spend time in the principal's office i will ask him why he misbehaved.

his answer," well, i lost control mommy. i don't think my pill worked this morning."

my response: " i don't want to hear that. your pill only helps you stay calm you do the rest. if you feel yourself losing control then take a deep breath and remove yourself from whatever is bothering you."

i have had this conversation with him many times over the past three years. he has learned now he is responsible for his actions-godd or bad.

bertitia, i would humbly suggest you look at your self this way too. having a condition that requires medication does not exempt you from controlling yourself. sorry, but that is what i see.

by the way, my son just turned eight years old. if he can learn the control thing i think you can too.

Bertita (OP), you said you are a clerk, right? Just wanting to get a clear picture here, your profile says Rn-phd? :)

Oh, my!

Okay... this made no sense at all. Being biased against what? Someone who cannot control themselves to the point that the police have to be called? Sure, I'm biased against unstable people like that in the workplace.

Calling the police that doesn't make the caller better or just. Hello? How many crooks call the police?

There is one comment I have concerning this statement. It would seem that you have inadequate control of your emotional conditions if this is common knowledge and you should probably talk with you physician about a reimen change to help get this under better control.

I would also have disciplinary action started as you made another person feel threatened enough to call in the "police" . In the world outside of the hospital this is called assault.

tvccrn

Exactly. Assault of myself by the nurse.

Bertita (OP), you said you are a clerk, right? Just wanting to get a clear picture here, your profile says Rn-phd? :)

I am not a nurse. But work with tons of them and there are great, good and bad ones. I am going to close my account, I am very discoraged with the so many closed minds and many silly reasons given, etc.

NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU ANGRY. YOU MAKE YOURSELF ANGRY. You are the ONLY one in control of your emotions and nobody can make you hurt, sad, happy, angry or any other feeling without you letting them- or in other words you choosing how you will feel.

This is such an excellent post. Such a perfect response to give to anyone with anger management problems (like my DH) I will definitely remember these words.

I am not angry. I am very happy that I reported a crook to HR.

You are out of line, IMHO.

Keep a copy if it is that important to you.

There are already too many prima donnas in the hospital, and a clerk with temper issues ranks at the bottom of the totem pole.

a nurse with abuse issues ranks at the bottom to the totem pole

Bertita, you need to stop looking at yourself as a victim who should be excluded from the consequences of your own behavior because of an emotional condition. Every job has it's stressors and people are not necessarily going to treat you differentially simply because YOU think they should because you have a condition.

Very true words. We are all expected to control our behavior in the workplace, irregardless of circumstance or the factors involved in a situation. Whether or not the nurse educator deliberately chose to bait you with the intent to make you lose your temper, it does not excuse your response. After requesting the roster back and her refusing to give it back, you could have taken the situation to your superior, especially since you had a deadline to meet. You didn't, you chose to argue with her about it to the point that it got heated enough for the hospital police to be called. Once one gives in to anger, they lose control of the situation.

You can either sit there and play the victim, feel like your the one abused and biased against, or you can learn from this experience.

I don't play a victim. I am a victim of abuse. I don't feel abused. I am abused and biased against. I learned a lot from this experience. I learned THAT DON'T TO BE SCARED AND CONFRONT THE ABUSER IS TERRIFIC. This nurse will think twice before abusing anyone else.

im sorry i think its sad when someone has a weakness,and this someone knew she has that problem took advanceage of it ok. how would you like if someone was missing with you weakness?

Still that someone would be a crook for not following policies

who says the educator was taking advantage of the woman's weakness. she needed the roster. if the clerk also needed it, well that's what copy machines are for. the clerk should have made a copy before handing the roster over if the roster is so important.

the point is, the op knows she has a terrible temper and is using that as an excuse to let loose. she's not taking any responsibility for her own actions. it doesn't matter if she's taking meds for it. she still needs to learn to control herself. it's unprofessional and anyone who, for any reason creates a hostile work environment should be strongly disciplined.

i have to come down on the side of the majority here. people cannot go around blaming bad behaviors on their "conditions" when it's convenient.

ok. i can not believe there are so many dull people around:

1- when did i say i handed the roster over? the nurse took it and withheld it.

2- you "forgot" to spell out op. what does that mean?

3- asserting oneself is getting loose? hello?

4- the nurse should be strongly disciplined for creating a crooked work environment.

5- it was very convenient that the nurse abused me because she thought i was going to eat her abuse while very stressed out; however she was wrong.

My son has ADHD. He also has a hard time controlling himself when he gets frustrated. When I get a note from the teacher telling me my son had to spend time in the principal's office I will ask him why he misbehaved.

his answer," Well, I lost control mommy. I don't think my pill worked this morning."

my response: " I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT. Your pill only helps you stay calm you do the rest. If you feel yourself losing control then take a deep breath and remove yourself from whatever is bothering you."

I have had this conversation with him many times over the past three years. He has learned now he is responsible for his actions-godd or bad.

Bertitia, I would humbly suggest you look at your self this way too. Having a condition that requires medication does not exempt you from controlling yourself. Sorry, but that is what I see.

By the way, my son just turned eight years old. If he can learn the control thing I think you can too.

The nurse is 50 something and still a pea brain

I don't play a victim. I am a victim of abuse. I don't feel abused. I am abused and biased against. I learned a lot from this experience. I learned THAT DON'T TO BE SCARED AND CONFRONT THE ABUSER IS TERRIFIC. This nurse will think twice before abusing anyone else.

Actually you put the nurse educator in the role of victim in your scenario by your behavior, it certainly wasn't her that had hospital security on her case. In fact did she not come across as the abused one in the eyes of hospital security and your immediate supervisor? You don't seem to understand that.

You actually did not learn much from this experience, you certainly didn't learn what assertiveness is or that confrontational/aggressive behavior is what landed you in hot water to start with. Assertiveness is to affirm in positive manner one's rights in a confident manner, it does not involve aggression or any act that is intimidating or threatening, or any action that would result in hospital security being called into the matter.

The nurse will think twice? Why? Did you threaten her? If that's the case, then it would be YOU are the aggressor/abuser and you might as well get well aquainted with hospital security since you will probably being seeing a lot more of them just prior to them escorting you off the premises for good.

OK. I can not believe there are so many dull people around:

1- When Did I say I handed the roster over? The nurse took it and withheld it.

2- You "forgot" to spell out OP. What does that mean?

3- Asserting oneself is getting loose? Hello?

4- The nurse should be strongly disciplined for creating a crooked work environment.

5- It was very convenient that the nurse abused me because she thought I was going to eat her abuse while very stressed out; however she was wrong.

1. That's right, the nurse took the roster and withheld it, and when asked for it back, it became an aggressive confrontation that resulted in security being called on YOU. You don't seem to understand that there are other ways to have dealt with the situation that would not have left a black mark on your record.

2. OP means Original Poster, which on this thread is you.

3. Being assertive does not involve putting the other person in a position where they feel threatened enough to call security.

4. YOU blew your chance for the nurse being spoken to or "disciplined" in this manner by your actions, you don't seem to grasp this aspect of your situation. How did she create a crooked work environment? DO you really believe you are entitled to differential treatment because of a condition? NO ONE should have to walk on egg shells around another co-worker for fear of setting them off over childish nonsense. The whole situation over this roster was childish. Her taking and refusing to give back the roster may very well have been an immature petty action on her part, how you responded to the situation was also immature. After she refused to give it back, you could have chosen not to argue with her, you could have chosen not to lose your temper. You could have chosen to bring the situation to your supervisor which would have resulted in her being in the hot seat, not you.

5. What this nurse won't think twice about is calling security on you again in a similar situation.

Perhaps the other posters and myself may be dull in your opinion, but we're not the ones who think that others should conform their behaviors to suit us. We're not the ones who have to worry about anyone calling security on us because we lack the ability to recognize the difference between assertiveness and aggression.