Not for me ....I don't think

First I want to say I admire you heme onc nurses very much. You all are amazing.

I'm a pedi nurse. I was sent to certify as a pedi chemo provider and was interested to learn but had never even seen a cancer patient prior to going. Now I'm certified and have been giving chemo (infrequently) for about 6 months. It's not for me. I'm learning the process and the skill and meds....but it is way too emotional. I fall in love with these beautiful children and my heart breaks. Now our general peds floor is getting flooded with chemo kidos and I'm doing it every shift! I almost hate it.

Does it take time to get used to this? How long until you enjoyed what you do? I have young children at home and I go home a wreck. I check for signs and symptoms of cancer. I think I think about cancer almost daily. It's terrible I know, but I just don't think I'm cut out for this.

I feel like a horrible person. Who wouldn't want to care for these beautiful children.

its not for everyone. whether its ped onc or adult onc. dont stress about it. Atleast you know for certain.