Needs advice about substance abuse programs

[amanda02]

My name is Amanda I am currently a LPN.Because of my criminal history I was placed in a program for substance abuse when I graduated from nursing school. They have me do drug testing and 12-step meetings and things like that. But the problem is that I already relapsed about 6 months into my career. I turned myself in and admitted to everything. So the program I am in is pushing hard to keep me there. They want me to take a 6-week substance abuse class and do some other things and then I can work again. I feel absolutely ashamed of myself for relapsing...but the program is really pushing me not to give up yet. I just dont really know what I should do about my problems here and am looking for anyone that has possibly been in this position for help. Please keep judgmental comments to yourself, I come from a history of child abuse/sexual and I admit I have more issues than normal people have. That is why I was using...I wasnt going to work high, I used one time then felt very guilty about it. I could have gotten away with it but the nursing field is about honesty so I came clean and turned in myself. Should I continue to work with this program and keep going in the nursing field or pursue another career choice?

[Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN]

Moved to our Recovery forum to help you get more targeted responses.

[nowim clean]

Bottom line you first have to want to quit. Then you HAVE to take the first step 100% "admitted we were powerless over "the drug of your choice" and our lives had become unmanageable". There is no easier or softer road to recovery esp for nurses we have hoops to jump through that the average person does not. You have got to get a sponsor, you have to thoroughly work the steps you have to do 90 meetings in 90 days this will help give you a foundation when hard times hit, and they will hit. If you can not stay sober in good times you will never make it when **** hits you right in the face. You will have to do the out patient rehab and aftercare and check in for drug screenings everyday. All of this plus stay clean. You can do this if you want it. Wishing you luck and peace.