Need some more information

Please keep in mind that I am not a doctor. I have witnessed patients with CHF and poor kidney function have swelling in their legs. I don't think that anyone can really tell you exactly how long she will live. You know, some doctors have given people 3 months to live and they ended up living much longer. I am very sorry that your family is going through a rough time. Since last year I lost a cousin, sister, and a 7 month old nephew. I know this must be hard for you. I will pray for your family.

I am so sorry for your situation. I understand how upsetting this is especially without hospice support. Kidney function failure can sometimes take some time, but it is best to prepare for daily changes in your mom's condition. talk to your mom again about hospice but this time tell her it is for you and your siblings so that you have someone to rely on to help you understand what you are seeing daily. Sometimes loved ones will accept hospice care if they know it is a kindness to the caregivers and relations. The only thing your mom would have to agree to is to see and meet the nurse from hospice once every fourteen days. Certainly you may have more visits and interventions but your mom might be more receptive if she knows she does not have to be overwhelmed by the hospice team. Without hospice try to stay in contact with your physican and report changes as you see them hopefully your doctor will be willing to explain what you are seeing. If your mom has not made care decisions that are on paper like living wills etc now is the time to talk about it as she begins to get sick issues like hospitalizations and agressive therapies will have to be decided and it might have to be decided by you.

Do not be afraid to contact your local hospice for support they might be able to speak with your mom. You and your family can request someone from hospice meet with you anytime without a doctors order. Getting a small get together at the home with a hospice staff member may help reassure everyone including your mom. Or if not, go in and see the hospice team. They may give you lots of advise.

Remember kidneys take care of the fluid in your body. Seeing swelling is perfectly normal when kidneys can not fully function. If your mom becomes uncomfortable at all call the doctor.

Take good care of yourself, try to stay calm and supportive but try to get the help you need to navigate this.

Molly55

Thank you to everyone that replied and also I will not ask for medical advice on this site.