How do I help my son?

Nurses Recovery

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My son is 16, he has been suspended from school for the rest of the year. He got a job where his dad lives, and was proud of how hard he was working- doing good- things looking up (finally) and then today, he failed his UA. He is 16 and now completely devestated. I am feeling so very helpless. He is feeling so angry. I am beyond the fight of mom vs. dad or any of that, right now his best interest is to be with his dad, and for that he is sooooo mad at me. I hurt for him. I dont know how to make this right?? It is marijuana that is the trouble, and this is too long of a story for the first thread on here for me. I am just scared... If no replies,I just appreciate someone reading and maybe understanding......

Trauma Columnist

traumaRUs, MSN, APRN

88 Articles; 21,249 Posts

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

egglady, LPN

361 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics.

Thank you for your reply. I am finding out that it is a day to day, sometimes hour by hour struggle. He is still mad at me, but he has sort of started to come to realize that being 3 hours away from his "friends" is what is going to happen. He doesnt lilke it, but it is in his best intererst and hopefully he will someday understand that. I am going to check out those web sites you put on. Thank you again...

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP

4 Articles; 5,259 Posts

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

Egglady, speaking from someone who has gotten sent to live with my dad (it was in my best interest too) for some life choices I was making @ the time, I say stick to your guns. I know you hurt for him - as a mother I feel your pain. But as a child that has been there, I promise that he does not hate you. He may say he does, and he may act like he does, but he is testing you. I thought my life could not get any worse than to get sent to live w/ my dad & stepmother, in a different school district, away from all my friends. But it got better, over a long period of time - like months, maybe even years. I promise. :icon_hug:

egglady, LPN

361 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics.

Elvish, you have given me HOPE!!!! Thank you so very much! I read your post and felt instant hope and almost like relief that things will be ok in the long run!His dad is a good guy, and my son will do well there- everyone knows it except my son!! Thank you again for posting, especially since you have been there yourself!!

egglady, LPN

361 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics.

Hi! A Update on my son! He is clean and sober, and his personality is the boy we love! He is doing fabulous at his dads, he is enrolled to start in high school over there.(3 hrs away). And he now gives the biggest and best hugs ever! He is back to being social instead of hiding out in his room! He loves coming here to "visit" me! I truly think that I did the best (and hardest) thing ever by sending him away! He has done the AODA counseling, still in it, and I just wanted to let all of you know that I HAVE MY SON BACK!!!!!!!! He is no longer a stranger!!!! Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers!! Oh, and I do still take things day by day - but it is easier now...

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