HELP failed NCLEX-RN twice!

I failed the NCLEX-RN twice, disappointed would be an understatement, I am devastated!! The first time I took the test my son had an allergic reaction to PCN the day before and was up all night, with a 9 AM test I was exhausted. I do not blame my failure on that because I did feel as if I could have studied more or done more to be more prepared. The exam the first time shut off at like 180 questions. SO, after going through the grieving of not passing the first time I was determined to pass it the second time. I bought several books and paid for the Mark Klimek seminar, I felt prepared going in my second time. Well once again going into the exam I was sleep deprived because my 18 month old son had a fever of 101 and was up all night when I had an 8 AM exam.Yes, I was tired going into the exam again but I was determined and felt that I had prepared myself over the past several months for it. The exam shut off the second time at 265. I thought for sure leaving the building that I had passed because several of my other classmates got all the questions and passed. I felt confident that I had achieved my goal, but I was wrong...FAILED. I failed the exam twice! I do not even know where to go from here, I feel like I gave it my everything and I feel like I know the content, its those dang select all that apply questions! I thought I was doing really well because I kept getting a ton of SATA questions but I guess it doesn't mean anything.

I am at such a loss, especially around Christmas time. My family is going through severe financial struggles and I was praying and studying so hard towards obtaining my licensure because I thought in my mind " After I pass I will make more money for my family"! My work was going to give me a promotion to a supervisor and I would have started earning more income... Now I am just so depressed. I do not even know where to go from here or what more I can do to be prepared for this test. And then I start thinking to myself why are others more deserving than I am, why am I the only one of my classmates who didn't pass on the first try....I put forth the effort and the time!! I am just so discouraged.....