Help with application letter?

SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN · Dec 9, 2013

Are you looking for assistance with diction? Syntax? Grammar?

easttt · Dec 9, 2013

Oops, yeah sorry should have specified, mostly just looking at help with the content, I will give it a good editing before submission. They were very vague on guidelines, all it says is 'a one page letter explaining why you are interested in the program you've chosen,' which I think I covered, but anything else I should add/remove/change?

I had a section on meeting some street nurses when I was homeless because that was the catalyst and still a huge part of why I want to be a nurse, but I removed it because I didn't want them to bias their decision against me based on that background.

SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN · Dec 9, 2013

Dear [admissions officer],
My name is [name] and this is my letter of interest for the Bachelor of Science Nursing program at [college].
Nursing is full of opportunities, many of which are very appealing to me. However, I am most interested in specializing in rural and remote nursing. Having lived in and travelled through many rural areas of Canada, including Yellowknife, Haida Gwaii and Northern British Columbia and Northern Ontario, I know it is not a life for everyone, but it is a life I love. Having the skills and knowledge to help others who also live that life is very important to me. Attending [college] is an obvious choice as the location and nurse mentors lend themselves to a Northern perspective compared to a similar degree from an urban university.
I have always enjoyed helping people and have considered many career paths with that in mind. Previously, I applied and was offered admission to [different college]’s Primary Care Paramedic program. (no need to mention your waitlist at a different college when trying to convince a new place to let you in!) However, after talking to several friends who were either nurses or paramedics, I have realized that the more in-depth level of client care and broader scope of practice that comes with nursing are much more appealing to me. While living in Ontario, I volunteered with [organization], a group that provides first aid at various events throughout the province. I worked with a fantastic crew and I enjoyed training and working with them to expand my skills, but it also made me realize just how much I didn’t know. I realized a deep desire to pursue higher education.
After getting my Bachelor’s degree, I intend to continue my education with a certificate in Remote and Rural Nursing from University of Northern British Columbia. It is my goal to eventually become a nurse practitioner. I would like to work in the Territories, but I also hope to complete missions with Medicine Sans Frontiers and Global Medics doing international humanitarian work and travelling to some other remote parts of Canada to assist as needed.
[College], with its specialization in Northern and Indigenous health, is a great fit for my educational and career goals. For these reasons, I believe I am a good candidate for your program. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
[me]

Above is my edited version of your letter. A few grammatical errors here and there, but overall, not bad. I personally think you should include the fact that you were homeless and met RNs on the street who inspired you to become a nurse yourself. That's incredible and it really makes you stand out as an applicant. I doubt that many other applicants will have anywhere close to the same story. Best of luck!

easttt · Dec 9, 2013

Thank you so much!! That is a great help. Here is the final version I am submitting:

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To whom it may concern,

My name is [name] and this is my letter of interest for the Bachelor of Science Nursing program at xx College.

For part of the last two years, I was homeless, and lived on the streets in various cities across Canada. In this time, I got to meet several incredible nurses who worked with the homeless populations, from wound care to running foot clinics or offering referrals to local program Overall, they were making sure people were okay or getting the help they wanted. These women were a huge inspiration to me to want to get my RN designation. Now that I am back on my feet, I would love to be able to return the kindness those nurses showed me and my friends to someone else in need.

I have always enjoyed helping people, and have considered many career paths with that in mind. Previously I applied and was offered admission to [diff college's] Primary Care Paramedic program, however after talking to several friends who were either nurses or paramedics, I have realized that the more in-depth level of client care and broader scope of practice that comes with nursing are much more appealing to me. While living in Ontario I volunteered with the [group], a group that provides first aid at various events throughout the province. I belonged to a fantastic crew and highly enjoyed training and working with them, but it also made me realize just how much I didn’t know. This really solidified my desire to pursue higher education.

Nursing is full of opportunities, many of which are very interesting to me. However, I am most keen on specializing in rural and remote nursing. Having lived in and travelled through many rural areas of Canada, including Yellowknife, Haida Gwaii and Northern British Columbia and Northern Ontario, I know it is not a life for everyone, but it is a life I love. Attending Aurora College is an obvious choice for me, as the location and nurse mentors lend themselves to a Northern perspective when compared to a similar degree from an urban university.

After getting my Bachelor’s degree I intend to continue my education with a certificate in Remote and Rural Nursing from University of Northern British Columbia. It is my goal to eventually become a Nurse Practitioner. I would like to work in the Territories, but also hope to do some missions with Médecins Sans Frontières and GlobalMedic, doing international humanitarian work, and travelling to other remote parts of Canada to assist as needed.

xx College, with its specialization in Northern and Indigenous health, is a great fit for my educational and career goals. For these reasons, I believe I am a good candidate for your program. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

[me]

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I know you're usually not supposed to use 'to whom it may concern' but I called the college to ask and was told to do so.

SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN · Dec 12, 2013

To whom it may concern,
My name is [name] and this is my letter of interest for the Bachelor of Science Nursing program at xx College.
For part of the last two years, I was homeless and lived on the streets in various cities across Canada. In this time, I met several incredible nurses who worked with the homeless populations. They did everything from wound care to running foot clinics to offering referrals to local programs. Essentially, they made sure that people who had no other resources were safe and getting the help they needed. These women inspired to me to go to school to be come a nurse myself. Now that I am back on my feet, I want to be able to return the kindness those nurses showed me and my friends to someone else in need.
I have always enjoyed helping people and have considered many career paths with that in mind. Previously, I applied and was offered admission to [diff college's] Primary Care Paramedic program. However, after talking to several friends who were either nurses or paramedics, I realized that the more in-depth level of client care and broader scope of practice that comes with nursing are much more appealing to me. While living in Ontario, I volunteered with the [group], a group that provides first aid at various events throughout the province. I belonged to a fantastic crew and highly enjoyed training and working with them, but it also made me realize just how much I didn’t know. This really solidified my desire to pursue higher education.
Nursing is full of opportunities, many of which are very interesting to me. However, I am most keen on specializing in rural and remote nursing. Having lived in and travelled through many rural areas of Canada, including Yellowknife, Haida Gwaii and Northern British Columbia and Northern Ontario, I know it is not a life for everyone, but it is a life I love. Attending Aurora College is an obvious choice for me, as the location and nurse mentors lend themselves to a Northern perspective when compared to a similar degree from an urban university.
After getting my Bachelor’s degree I intend to continue my education with a certificate in Remote and Rural Nursing from University of Northern British Columbia. It is my goal to eventually become a Nurse Practitioner. I would like to work in the Territories, but also hope to do some missions with Médecins Sans Frontières and GlobalMedic, doing international humanitarian work and travelling to other remote parts of Canada to assist as needed.
xx College, with its specialization in Northern and Indigenous health, is a great fit for my educational and career goals. For these reasons, I believe I am a good candidate for your program. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
[me]

Looks good! I re-edited your previous post for grammar/punctuation in the quote above. :) Good luck!