Coping

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Specializes in NICU.

How have others coped with losing a baby they have cared for for a long time? I am so sad that one of the babies I have cared for has passed away. It is affecting all aspects of my life. Is this something that will likely pass and I can learn and move on from it? I have cried myself to sleep since this happened a week ago... I use running as a stress reliever but I was so frustrated and upset I tried to run until I wasn't thinking about it anymore which resulted in me on the ground throwing up and in intense pain.. It didn't make me feel any better and I just don't know what to do. Is this normal? I just feel like I can't stop obsessing over it...

Don't feel ashamed or embarrased for having had a strong attachment to a baby in your care. You obviously care very deeply and you seem like a lovely person. Who could not be moved by the passing of a baby? I think I would find it hard to cope. You can't just forget about the baby and all those memories. I don't know if they have a counselling team or anyone on your unit could have a cup of tea and a chat with you, an opportunity to try and come to terms with what has happened. You could create a memory board or book, that way you are coming to terms with grief and loss. Your hospital may have religious chaplains too. You don't have to be religious but you could organise a prayer or blessing to be said for the baby if you want too.These are a few ideas that may help you.

Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

I would be concerned if you didn't feel grief @ the loss of a baby you've known and cared for for so long. We give these babies a piece of our hearts, how could it not hurt?

If @ all possible, try to take a day or 2, and grieve for that little one. Go to the funeral if you wish to. Wrap yourself in an afghan, a cup of something, and feel how you feel. The next time you work, try to shake it off as much as possible. Avoid that type of patient for a bit. Give yourself a brake. Keep taking your vitamins, and taking care of your health--you are very susceptible right now. Try to have some fun--watch an old funny movie and laugh.

We'll be praying for you!

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

On occasion, I have written both poetry and prose about little patients who stole my heart before passing away.

It's not very good and no one ever reads it but it helps me deal.

You are kind and you are human. What's happening is normal, and it will get better with time. Grieve however you need to. xo

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