code on a baby

When you beat yourself up for not doing something as well as you would have liked, you make it harder to learn from the experience. You're still new and the first time you do something you're not going to do it as well as the 10th time you do it. Be a little easier on yourself.

Review your NRP and compare it to what happened. What did you do right? What could you have done differently? A previous poster suggested a debriefing session with the Peds doc who was there. That's a good idea. Don't start by telling him how awful you feel about the terrible job you did. Start by saying it was the first time this has happened and you want to learn as much from the experience as you can so you can do better the next time it happens. If they have the time, most docs like to teach and will go over it with you.

Perhaps the older nurses were just trying to help you and you interpreted their critique as criticism because of your own feelings of inadequacy Or perhaps they were just being mean. It doesn't matter. Forgive yourself for not being perfect and learn as much as you can from this experience.

As for crying at the nurse's desk, we've all done it at one time or another. Docs too.