Career Path Advice - Start School Now Or...?

I'm 34 and I have two sons (11 and 12 years old). I'm also a widow and had almost no help with my kids. So I put off going to school. I am now done with my pre-reqs and will be starting a nursing program in January. So while our situations are different, I can understand your concerns. Unless you have a ton of support it will be very hard to go to school while the kids are young. I think that getting your education now is important. Maybe you can start an associate's program so you don't have to wait so long?!? Just an idea. You can always start working as a nurse with your associate's and then continue on with your bachelor's. Here's something to think about: Do you think you'd regret not getting your degree? If so, go ahead and pursue your career. Either way, it seems like you have a big decision to make and will definitely need your partner's support. Good luck!

Honestly, I think nursing school would be exponentially harder after having children than before. You will have to take in to consideration your studies, classes, and making sure the children are cared for when either you or your husband are not home or able to care for them. It think it ups the stress of nursing school about a thousand.

Just remember that FMLA doesn't go into effect until after you have worked at least 12 months at your employer.

To address some of your concerns, I think working as an RN in CA is an incredible job for a mother: low patient ratios, among the highest pay in the country (RN's in the town I am from average $108,000 a year) and an extremely flexible schedule. You can work per diem, make a lot per hour and turn down shifts you don't want, or as you stated, work from home as a Case Manager. All of these reasons are why I decided to become an RN. I am currently in my first semester of a BSN program (also recently married and am 26). I think BSN is the only way to go because in 2.5 years I will have my RN and BSN. You would spend almost that same amount of time in an ADN program and then still need to go back for your Bachelor's. Personally, I didn't want to get caught waiting around in CA to get into an RN school. My GPA and test scores were very competitive, but it seemed like each school was so different in what they required, I would have had to wait until all my pre-reqs were completely finished before applying to a lot of the BSN programs that were close to me and it would have set me back about a year probably. I am nearly done with my first semester and my friends from pre-reqs are only now applying to RN programs. My husband and I moved to Nashville for me to complete my education and it has been the best choice we ever made. Don't get me wrong, we will likely move back after I graduate and get a year or two of experience (or finish grad school), but my program is incredible and I live near countless major hospitals. It is so much easier to get your first RN job here. Part of my consideration for this decision was wanting to get school out of the way as quickly as possible so that we could start a family sooner. I would also possibly like to go to Grad school, which would mean starting a family around 30-32. Now, I know this path may not work for everyone, so as far as your dilemma goes with having children goes, you will hear things across the board. For me, RN school has been easier than pre-reqs because I now have this base of background knowledge (I'm not working full-time in a demanding career like I was before - I was a news reporter through my pre-reqs), and you are surrounded by professors and peers who all have the same goal: to get through and become the best RN you can. I would never have a baby during RN school, but a lot of my peers have young children and they are doing fine. With a lot of advanced planning and a good support system you could totally do it. Personally, I would not wait until 35 or 36 to try for my first (not saying you shouldn't because this is a very personal decision). I would be devastated if for some reason I couldn't conceive. If you are in a spot financially to start trying for your first now, I would go for it. You have some time before you start RN school and maybe you can get in a good rhythm with your family and then start. I also had a friend that had a baby during her RN program and she truly seemed miserable about the whole thing. Her husband was supportive, but it was just lousy timing and I don't think she was able to enjoy RN school or her baby for that last semester (when she had hers). That being said, her program was supportive and she made it through on time with her class, passed the NCLEX and is now working as an RN in CA. Her and her husband did not plan this, but they made it work.

The one thing I would say for sure is BE SURE. When I decided to become an RN it was something I took a few months to really research, talk to people about and talk with my now husband about. He has had to make a lot of sacrifices for my RN education and honestly it has been a factor that has made a difference. I literally would not be in my program right now without that support. Whatever you decide, you need to make sure your husband is 100% on board and supportive. Even with that support, it's challenging. You will be busy studying constantly, meeting with people on campus and just generally a stress case most of the time. My husband is on board because he knows this is my passion and it's going to allow me to have the career I dream of making a difference, while still having time for our family and earning a good living. At the same time, even with my grad school ambitions, I won't put off having kids too long because I know he has dreams, too, and having kids while he is in his early to mid thirties is part of that dream. You could wait and you may end up having a tough time getting pregnant, or it may be just fine. You have to decide which one you will be best able to live with without regrets. Maybe when you are an RN, have your career and life set, you will be a better mom. These are the tough decisions!

I am going to address your issues one at a time. First, there is never a "right" time to have a baby. You will always need more money, you will want to change careers, life changes constantly. I thought with PCOS and endo it was going to take me a long time to get pregnant. Turns out, we got pregnant the very first month. Talk about a surprise!! If you want to have a baby, do it!! You are also not in your last 4-5 years of fertility. People get pregnant well into their 40's all of the time. I know you hear that clock ticking but honestly I wouldn't worry about that.

But you do have to decide if you want school now or later. You don't want to get pregnant and have the baby while in nursing school and try to come back and juggle that and a baby. It will be too hard. My boyfriend wants us to get pregnant. I told him the earliest we would try is next Sept. I have to graduate school first. That is my priority right now. I don't want to have to drop out and try to go back. I won't do it.

I do have an 8 year old son. I waited for him to be in school full time before starting my journey of going back to school. That's just me though. My exhusband and I decided I would stay home with him and I don't regret it a single bit. I just didn't want to be home while he is in school. He's got his friends and is starting his little life so now I have to start mine again. My ex would have loved it if I would have stayed home to be his maid and cook, but that is not me. I have always loved medicine and decided to go for it. My son is very proud of me.

Nursing school and the job itself is very stressful. I think though all jobs are at some point. You are responsible for people's lives. That's all there is to it. Sometimes the job is life or death. I'm sure sometimes there will be some overtime. Not like you can leave in the middle of a code, but I think there is always a balance and it just depends if you can make it work. I'm lucky that I have great support with the people around me who always are there to help me out when I need it. If you have a strong support system you can probably make it work. It just takes lots of careful planning and making sure that both you and your husband are on board.

Thank you, I DO think I would regret not pursuing my goal to become a nurse, and I have decided to make getting my associate's degree into my Plan B. So I will apply to 2 BSN programs and 2 ASN programs. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!