Admissions Essay - NYU

[kta428]

Hi everyone!

This is definitely a new experience, so bare with me. I'm currently changing career paths and planning on applying to a couple of Accelerated Nursing Programs in NYS. I definitely need help with my essay, it is the main reason I am on here, as well as to connect with others who have been or are in the same position as me. It is the first draft, but here it goes:

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"There is a saying in my home country Colombia, "you always come back, to your first love." This is exactly what is occurring in my life at this very moment. After many years I'm coming full circle to my first love, Science, and I couldn't be more excited by the journey that lies ahead, and what I am leaving behind.

In High School, what seems like light years ago, I was in love with Chemistry. I dedicated all of my time to reading, studying, and learning about Moles. That little white Chemistry book was like my best friend. But although this subject fed my curiosity, I was extremely good at Art, and my teenage heart was undecided. Needless to say, I opted for studying Fashion Design at the Fashion Institute of Technology. While in school, my grades begun to drop as the time passed, which should have been a sign that this was not the correct field of study for me, but out of fear to change career path or disappointing my family, I continued with my Fashion Degree. Toward the end of my program, with only one class left, I moved to Panama, the country where I performed my Practicum, and stayed for a year. By the time graduation came around, my GPA was nowhere near what I would have liked it to be today. After obtaining my Bachelor's Degree, I started my career in various retail sectors, which helped me to develop superior interpersonal skills, as well as improve my ability to be perceptive to my customers and their needs.

Throughout my growth in retail, 12 years after that Chemistry class in High School, I still felt as though something was missing in my life. I couldn't help but bring up how much I had loved Chemistry in various conversations, and after gathering my courage, (it is a bit nerve racking changing careers after all), I started looking into prerequisite course to enroll in at my Community College. Taking these classes has been a complete experience, they are by far some of the most challenging, yet exciting, courses that I have taken in my years in school. With these courses, not only have I realized that this is where my passion lies, but how different I am today from the person I was during my undergrad. As a student today I am determined and extremely interested in what I am learning. I'm not going to lie, the first time I took an Anatomy Lab exam I was terrified, after hours of studying I walked in to find a numbered sheet of paper and various test stations. This was unlike anything I had ever done at FIT. The countless hours of studying and dedication payed off after I received an A in this class, and the other prerequisites I've taken thus far.

You may be asking yourself, why does she want to go into Nursing after being in Fashion? Well, I honestly can't think of any other career that combines Science, my customer service experience, and my love of learning. Nursing is not just helping people. Nursing opens the doors to countless opportunities, growth and career paths. It is a field that is ever changing, where new treatments come around daily, and no day is ever the same. It is a study path that requires dedication, sleepless nights, and extreme responsibility. As a future graduate, I would love to see myself working at a Hospital, and at one point volunteer in a Latin American country, continuing my education by obtaining a PhD.

Honestly, I feel like Nursing is limitless, what you put into it is what you receive back. Two of my close friends, whom are Nurses, tell me how satisfying their job is. After a hard day of work, even if they had a terrible day, they made a difference in someones life. They do this by not only being caring people, but by being knowledgeable in their fields, getting as much training as they possibly can, attending conferences and maintaining their credentials up to date. My friend is a perfect example of how this field is ever-growing, she is considering going back to school to pursue her Masters as an Anesthesia Nurse. This is something that really catches my interest, being able to continue studying Science/Nursing. I would be that student that always gets butterflies in my stomach out of excitement to see what grade my hard work obtained. The student that will stay up until the wee hours of the morning to read the full chapter, highlighting along the way. I would put my all into this field.

Needless to say, New York University is a world renowned school. According to US News, NYU is ranked in top 6 Nursing schools in the country. It would be a privilege to be a part of a program that has been changing the Nursing field since 1932. Attending NYU would allow me to perform my rounds at some of the best New York hospitals. It would not only provide me with the opportunity to learn from some of the best doctors and teachers and teachers in the country, but to learn alongside an impressive pool of candidates, whom I would call my peers. This 15 month Accelerated Program would greatly prepare me for what would be the biggest test in my life, the NCLEX, and for what would come after graduating, (nursing certificates or Masters degree). Being accepted to this program would tie everything together for me, proving that I have come a long way, from the student I was during my Undergrad, and circled back to the right path. Providing me with the chance of a lifetime, it would be more than an honor to represent NYU as an RN throughout my career path."

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Well written and thorough.

Make sure in your final draft you take out the comma in your first quote, as well as the second "and teachers" in your NYU blurb.

And the "butterflies in stomach/grades" part--eh, not so much. I think that if you put something regarding "evidence based practice" and/or "nursing theory" it might be a better fit. Colleges are not necessarily interested in the grades you are aiming for, but rather how you will put what you learn into practice.

Best Wishes

[kta428]

Thank you for your input. I agree, removed the butterflies part out of my Essay. I'm trying of figuring out a way to put what you suggested about "evidence based practice" and "nursing theory" into the paragraph.