Hi everyone,

I have been working in a hospital for a little more than a year. I first started off at a psychiatric unit because I really did love my psych clinicals during school. However, I began having nightmares about my unit 8-9 months into the job (d/t some traumatic events that occurred). So after a year, I transferred to a ortho-surgical unit (that is still part of the same hospital/corporation) and am now working night shifts. I'm almost done with my 3-month orientation but I feel miserable and I'm constantly stressed about making mistakes. Within 2 weeks of my orientation, a patient passed away and I can't help but blame myself because that pt was under my care. My preceptor and manager told me I did the best I could, but I can't let go for some reasons. My unit's patient ratio is usually 6:1, so everyone is scrambling and charge nurse can never be found. I even found out that at least 11 people have quit within this year. I am at a loss, I don't know what to do. Is three months too soon to leave? If I leave, I don't know what other jobs I can do with just a BSN.

Try public health or school health. You will be in a community setting and work M-F, 8-5 most likely. It can still be stressful but definitely not the kind of stress you get from doing bedside. Good luck and don't give up!

You sound like ME when I was new. I mean that to be good news

A lot of nurses in the early year(s) have your kind of anxiety. Please LISTEN to what your supervisor said and believe her when she says you did all you could. Newish nurses often do not understand the boundaries of what they are responsible for, and what they are powerless to do. This comes with experience. You have a lot less power and control than you are lead to believe in nursing school (the degree should include a minor in Codependency). People sicken and die, and unless you were the ONLY person caring for him/her, writing orders, doing tests, prescribing meds and treatments all by yourself 24/7, you can't possibly be 'that' responsible.

That is anxiety talking, not reality.

I needed help coping with my anxiety and unrealistic fears. Anxiety like this makes everything look magnified, worse than it really is (remember your supervisors words). The good news is you are doing better than you think, but your anxiety is getting the best of you.