I have everything I want to say in it but it's not flowing and not the best in my eyes. Can someone that's good with writing essays and checking grammar help me asap? TIA

my advice is to contact the school tutor service, if any. I used to get help from the journalism and English and education majors.

When I write essays, I write all the things I want to say, and then group those things. Then separate out what to lead with and what to end with.

Groupings turn into paragraphs, and add the lead for a thesis and recap for the ending. Grouping or paragraphs by thought or chronology helps the all around flow and comprehension of the essay.

best of luck,

Same with matilda123, when I wrote my essay, I was writing a self profile at first then it turned into a semi-essay of some sort. So it turned out to be a big ramble of my past/current experiences then it some personal information as to what persuaded me to become a nurse (not because I wanted to be a nurse to help people because that is so cliche, but why I wanted to help people if you know what I mean). Then I looked at what I wrote and I grouped them in a time line. I organized my thoughts and took out the irrelevant stuff and worked on the relevant stuff and added on to it to make it "shine." I didn't even put an introductory paragraph since what ever I tried to write always turned out so "cliche!" But I did emphasize on the body of the text though.

Use strong words also like, excellent instead of good, stuff like that.

Then I just added a simple closing remark like:

"In closing, blah blah...excellent candidate for apposition in your Nursing School. I am very compassionate blah blah...strong science background and previous exposure to the medical field. blah blah...excellent support from colleagues, family, and friends throughout the years, and blah blah....I feel that I am ready for this next step in my career development. Thank you for this opportunity. blah blah....etc...."

:typing

Then I just added a simple closing remark like:

"In closing, blah blah...excellent candidate for apposition in your Nursing School. I am very compassionate blah blah...strong science background and previous exposure to the medical field. blah blah...excellent support from colleagues, family, and friends throughout the years, and blah blah....I feel that I am ready for this next step in my career development. Thank you for this opportunity. blah blah....etc...."

:typing

I hope you left the "blah blah" out of your essay!!! LOL!!:chuckle:chuckle:chuckle

Sorry, cleaning today, must be the chemicals!

Then I just added a simple closing remark like:

"In closing, blah blah...excellent candidate for apposition in your Nursing School. I am very compassionate blah blah...strong science background and previous exposure to the medical field. blah blah...excellent support from colleagues, family, and friends throughout the years, and blah blah....I feel that I am ready for this next step in my career development. Thank you for this opportunity. blah blah....etc...."

:typing

I hope you left the "blah blah" out of your essay!!! LOL!!:chuckle:chuckle:chuckle

Sorry, cleaning today, must be the chemicals!

Crap....that's why they didn't accept me....or is that the real reason why they accepted me? LOL

We didn't have to do an essay. Thank goodness I didn't have to write one because I might have had to resort to begging so that they would let me in.