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new medications for females
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> >D a m i t o l
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> >Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
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> >S t. M o m 's W o r t
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> >Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
> >unconscious for up to six hours.
> >
> >
> >
> >E m p t y N e s t r o g e n
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> >Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the
> >memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till
> >they moved out.
> >
> >
> >
> >P e p t o b i m b o
> >
> >Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening
> >out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
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> >
> >
> >D u m e r o l
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> >When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing
> >enjoyment
> >of country western music.
> >
> >
> >
> >F l i p i t o r
> >
> >Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
> >urge
> >to flip off other drivers.
> >
> >
> >
> >A n t i b o y o t i c s
> >
> >When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving
> >grades,
> >freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
> >
> >
> >
> >M e n i c i l l i n
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> >Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines
as,
> >"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
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> >
> >
> >B u y a g r a
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> >Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
> >duration
> >of spending spree.
> >
> >
> >
> >Extra Strength Buy-One-all
> >
> >When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so
> >severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by
> >Dr.
> >Laura.
> >
> >
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> >J a c k A s s p i r i n
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> >Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
> >anniversary or phone number.
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> >
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> >A n t i-t a l k s i d e n t
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> >A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
> >share
> >their life stories with total strangers.
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> >S e x c e d r i n
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> >More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a
> >headache," syndrome.
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> >R a g a m e t
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> >When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging
on
> >him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself