LuckyNinja

I am a graduate RN currently working as a charge nurse in a skilled facility for almost four months. I recently have experienced many shifts or parts of shifts in which I am the only nurse on duty for a census of 35 to 37 patients. One of these shifts I lost a patient, they unexpectedly coded. I handled the situation per protocol and gave them the best chance at survival. However, I have received little support in regards to this experience, which was very upsetting. I was promised a full time schedule when I started. Some weeks I am scheduled for three shifts, some I only have one. I am finding it very difficult to learn on the job training with no resources in the form of other nurses, few regular shifts and very little direct feedback about my performance. Recently the administrator hired another nurse from a sister facility when there was no open position available. About the time their orientation was up, the administrator fired a fellow nurse (who was very competent) and gave the new hire a full time position leaving me with the scraps. The feedback I receive (when I illicit it) is that I'm doing well, but I cannot help fearing for my job and my license. I have little support from my DNS and would like to think that this is not the norm. If anyone can share with me their thoughts, words of encouragement and/or advice, that would be so helpful. I would like to imagine that after the first year it gets better, but I am hopeless at the moment.