lostinreality

Just wanted to give an update: So, my first day was yesterday and as it turns out my rpeceptor is AMAZING!!! I absolutely LOVE her. She is totally understanding of my concerns and yesterday she told me to simply shadow her to get used to the unit and how things run (exactly what I was thinking/wishing for). But, I have to say, that I still am slightly freaked out. Yesterday a pt was getting LR and needed replacement K which she diluted with NS (stopped the LR and ran NS with K). Watching my nurse change the IV, set the K, NS, invert the tubes, set the pump etc. I just started to slowly tear up because even though I understand WHY we do all these things I just feel like I will never be able to do this on my own. I,regrettfully, let a couple tears drip and she happened to catch it and pulled me aside and calmly, patiently, explained the why and how's, and reinforced that it will come to me eventually. I just feel like I will never get this. I'm doing 12's and it was aboslutely NON stop ALL shift long. And she said it was a calm day (BTW, I'm on a 48 bed surgical unit). THAT was calm????? Oh my god - no I will never get this. Obviously, I have issues with anxiety and insecurity. I am just really scared. Really really scared. Anyway, I just want to thank you all for your support and kind words. I feel **so** much more at ease especially knowing that I am in fabulous arms with my preceptor....:bowingpur

Hi All, I am a nursing student graduating this semester with my BSN (BSN = all theory-focused, little (IMHO) clinical experience/hours). I am doing my capstone (final clinical) at a large urban hospital TCU (General & Specialty Surgery unit, msotly post-op). I am so so so so so so so scared. Anxiety-ridden. Fearful. Terrified. Nervous. Horrified. Insomnia x last 2 weeks, emesis x 637, diarrhea x I lost count. I am so afraid that I will meet my preceptor tomorrow and she will be this carniverous, mean, bland battle axe that will quiz me until I pass out and think I'm the dumbest student that ever lived; then recommend that my instructor to fail me. At this point, she could ask me the mechanism of action for metoprolol and I would just stare at her. Obviously, I passed my courses and did well, but I just don't feel up to par with my classmates. I feel like I have learned more as a unit secretary in the ICU I work at than I have in nursing school. I swear I don't know anything. I know I'm not stupid, but I am so nervous about this. To make things worse, I can be sensitive, so I am worried about being sensitive about my insecurity and will just break down and cry tomorrow. Also, it does not help me when people say "mask your insecurity...act confident". Easier said than done. Trust me...if I could, I would. I have never been able to mask my feelings. I waear my heart on my sleeve. I cannot help it. I realize I need to work on this. Any advice? Please, I beg of you, help!!! My heaad won't stop spinning.... :uhoh21::barf01: