AllTheNamesRtook

I know that I'm probably not the first new nurse worried that she picked the wrong career. My intentions are still there. I just don't know if it is *this* job or *this* time because I'm new. So, I got hired on the spot as a new grad at a long term care facility changing ownership. I had one day of orientation and then they asked me to work a 12 in their covid unit... which they had two days acquired so no one knew. I was unfamiliar with any computer stuff so I got a log in name the same day and figured it out. I also figured out everything that could go wrong with a g tube and how to suction a trach... which is obviously super freaky cause like... fresh out of school, abc's with the breathing.. yea. But I got it down. So as soon as I got it down, they took me out of there and onto two different med carts while they changed pharmacies and companies... I show up an hour before my shift and it isn't enough. I didn't have a computer to pass meds and finally found one with a half busted screen. Then I had to go use a desktop (cause changing companies and computer systems during the day shift is the best idea ever) and write down meds and then take that information to the med cart to pass. I have nightmares every night and cry before work and at work. I want to at least have a routine but the RN before me during NOC is brand new so I feel like I'm walking into a mess even though I stay an hour to make sure the oncoming nurse has everything s/he needs. It's all just a lot and I don't want it to mean that I can't be a nurse. How often should it be out of control? I am watching the seasoned nurses around me freak out but it's just... a lot. Some lady from HR told me to come "join the party" after they changed companies and was like...you must know I haven't had a lunch break today even. (That part I knew I was signing up for, LOL)