overwhelmed...
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I have been a surgical nurse for about 11 years now eversince I graduated in 1996 I worked in the OR afterwards... I have lived and worked in the UK for 6 years and then last December 2005 moved here stateside the first 6 months I was here I worked in a hospital in Tennessee and I really had a bad experience there being new I felt so demoralized with everything. anyway I decided it was the end of the rope for me so hubby and I moved to another place now I am working still in the OR as weekend nights option person at first everything was alright I was enjoying it starting over again and I have no problems with the people I am working with now I am in this position for 6 months and it's just begining to hit me that they hired me because the person working this shift is sick and well dying and it is I who has to take over her place the training is good but I feel sooo bad about it because I thought I was going to be working with her but not working towards replacing her... she is very good at what she does and i feel i have got a very big shoes to fill she has been there for 30 + years... i know with proper support I can do it but now I am begining to get anxious and overwhelmed thinking of the role I am going to fill in I am begining to doubt my ability and thinking of changing speciality altogether. I am confused but that I am thinking too of the safety of my patients I feel that I am not ready to be doing such role... I like what I do and I like the hospital I don't really want to leave can't afford to lose my job for financial reasons too... but at the same time I am scared of this responsibility...any advise??