Now what?!

i have only been at my new nicu job for about 2 months now & i hate it. i know hate is strong but i cannot tell you how many tears i have cried. i'm frequently frustrated by the way things are done. i was at my old unit for 3 1/2yrs & this unit is extremly different. we were hand-washing & policy nazi's! if you didn't know something there was surly a policy that would direct you on how to do it. it was amazing! excellent standard of care.

at my new hospital, policies are hard to find to nonexistent, we have no medication scanning so a 2nd nurse has to check everything. we dilute heparin which to me is an accident waiting to happen. doctors aren't even on the same page. 1 doctor will get mad if another doctor touches/changes things on their patients while that doctor was gone, or this doctor will do one thing for ivh or whatever, but this doctor won't. there's not even a standard of practice between doctors, so how is there going to be standards of practice in between nurses?

the next nicu is over an hour away. i'm thinking about trying the adult world out, but who is going to hire a nurse that's only done infants for almost 4yrs?! and then what if i don't like that job!? what am i supposed to do then!? i guess i'm just overwhelmed & i don't know what to do. i don't feel safe practicing at the hospital i'm at. i'm also a little frustrated with the benefits, most the pto. i'm also new to the state, so i'm at a loss.

thanks any helpful incite would be great.