Need help on cover letter

SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN · Feb 28, 2014

To whom it may concern,
I am writing this letter in response to the part-time RN position in Labor & Delivery on your webpage. I am a (licensed) registered nurse with 2 ½ years experience. I have worked with mid-age (Clarify this...middle-aged adults? Teenagers?) to geriatric patients in rehabilitation, dementia/Alzheimer's care, and hospice care. I have always aspired to become a nurse who works with mothers and infants. This area of nursing is where my heart is and it excites me to assist my patients in this transitional phase of life.
My 2 ½ years of experience consist of providing direct care for patients with various systematic diseases such as orthopedic, cardiac, respiratory, renal, diabetes, and mental disorders. Working on a fast-paced unit requires me to adapt to difficult situations and make decisions quickly. My daily schedule includes but is not limited to applying the nursing process (very vague, consider cutting), aseptic wound care, colostomy care, blood sugar monitoring, admitting and discharging patients, and IV therapy. I have some experience preparing patients for surgery and providing post-operative care. I worked with PT/OT/ST (consider spelling these abbreviations out) on a daily basis and use time management skills to provide the best care for my rehab patients.
I enjoy serving my community and want to help those that are in need. I am self-motivated, a fast learner, and a hard worker. I am able to work independently but work well with others and enjoy collaborating. My priority is caring for my patients and making sure they receive the best care.
I am looking forward for an interview with you. Thank you for your time and consideration in reviewing my resume. Please do not hesitate to contact me for additional information. I can be reach by phone or via email. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely yours,
my name

Hi Aylialee,

First off, the letter you wrote looks good! You make your points well and touch on your passion for the field and your experience nicely.

The bolded sections in the quoted letter in my reply above indicate things that I'd add. Some of them are grammatical changes and a few of them are re-wording that help the sentence structure flow better. The sections in italics are things I'd cut or change, a few of them with explanations in the parenthesis.

Finally, have you cruised the hospital's home page and done some specific research on the OB department you're applying to? For instance, do you know what are they focus on? Do they emphasize a baby-friendly environment? Do they pride themselves on excellence in breastfeeding care? Are they a new facility that is centered around patient comfort? Do they keep laboring women in the same room throughout the birth experience? Almost every hospital nowadays will pick out a few things about its departments that it really touts. That's what you need to find out.

Read their site, pick out a few things they use to advertise themselves, and explain to them why you're interesting in their hospital beyond the fact that you like working with babies and moms. What is it about them that attracts you to the job? How can you contribute to the hospital based on their goals? That shows them that you've taken the initiative to research them and you're interested in becoming part of their team.

Best of luck! Hope you get an interview!

Aylialee · Feb 28, 2014

Thank you so much for the revising. I will take your advice on touring the hospital's website more.