Maxine on Life ...

this is even funnier if you know the maxine character from hallmark - a crusty old lady with very definite views on life.

1. maxine on "driver safety" - "i can't use the cell phone in the car. i have to keep my hands free for making gestures."

2. maxine on "life" - "life is like an oven. it burns my buns."

3. maxine on "housework" - "i do my housework in the nude. it gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible."

4. maxine on "lawn care" - "the key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. i recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."

5. maxine on "the perfect man" - "all i'm looking for is a guy who'll do what i want, when i want, for as long as i want, and then go away. or wait nearby, like a dust buster, charged up and ready when needed."

6. maxine on "work" - "my performance at work has really improved over the years. now i can nail a co-worker with a paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards."

7. maxine on "the technology revolution" - "my idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice."

8. maxine on "aging" - "take every birthday with a grain of salt. this works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita."

:)