Worried sick. Should I follow my passion for L&D or stay with my job that is excellent for my family?

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

 I can see why you're torn between the security and flexibility of your current hybrid triage nurse role and the exciting (yet daunting-scary?) prospect of diving into a new L&D job that could rock the boat.

This is a tough decision because you're weighing your career desires, the well-being of your family, and financial considerations.

First, you are absolutely not selfish. In fact, your worry about your family shows that you are anything but selfish.

It's natural for moms, especially, to feel that taking on a more demanding job might somehow be at the expense of their family or personal life. The key is finding a balance that works for you and your family in the long term, and that may take some trial and error. It's not always perfect, but good parents find ways to make it work.

Consider what you will teach your children if you take a risk and follow your heart.

Let's break it down:

 Personal Fulfillment & Career Growth

You've wanted to work in L&D for years and still feel passionate. Your enthusiasm for learning and growing in this field is telling. If you don't take this opportunity, you might always wonder, "What if?" which could eventually lead to regret or resentment toward your current role. You reached out and applied "on a whim," but was it really a whim? You are stagnant and unhappy.

A new specialty could reignite your passion for nursing. There's also something really fulfilling about returning to a clinical, hands-on role like L&D, which could provide you with a greater sense of purpose than the outpatient clinic work you're doing now.

Most nurses need a jump start once or twice during their careers. That's not to say you can't find it again in your current job if you choose to stay. But it's important not to continue on a path of being unhappy in your career. It will lead to being disappointed with yourself and will affect your job performance.

The Practical Side of the Job

You've been in outpatient clinics for 7 years, so transitioning to a fast-paced hospital environment will undoubtedly be an adjustment. Not necessarily a bad adjustment. You do have transferable skills that will help you succeed. You might initially feel rusty, but L&D is a specialized area that will train you to be an expert over time. It's exciting to learn something new again.

As for the hospital environment, not all hospitals or units are alike. If the work culture is supportive, most coworkers will be welcoming and willing to help as you ramp up your skills.

L&D will have a structured training program, and you're getting a significant pay raise and sign-on bonus, which suggests they're excited to have you join and will likely provide the support you need.

Impact on Family Life

The reality of three 12-hour night shifts is daunting, especially when you have kids. It could be difficult adjusting to night shifts, and there's no denying that it will affect family time and possibly trips or holidays. Some families thrive with the three 12s schedule because it can leave you full days off mid-week. A lot depends on the age of your children as well.

It could also be temporary; if the night shifts aren't working for you long-term, many L&D positions are available in different shifts. You can always re-evaluate after you get a feel for how it impacts your family life.

If you decide to take the job, you may need to find ways to prioritize quality time with your kids and use the flexibility of your off days creatively (for example, planning activities on days you have off or on weekends when your kids are free).

Stability vs. Growth

You're giving up a job with great benefits, PTO, seniority, flexibility, and a solid work-life balance. Those are all significant advantages but not necessarily satisfiers. Still, it's understandable why you're hesitant to leave it. It's trading the known for the unknown, going back to ground zero in learning, and taking a risk in terms of family time and the stress of night shifts.

But consider that, in the long term, the L&D role could provide opportunities for more specialized skills and career progression. That could lead to better-paying roles down the road, more stability, or even part-time options after you've gained experience in L&D. Plus, if you discover you don't like the shift work or the hospital environment, you can always look for another position, whether it's L&D or something else that fits your needs better. It's not permanent.

Self-Compassion

Remember to be kind to yourself. There's no right or wrong choice here; you could stay and be right or leave and be right.

There's just an opportunity in front of you to take a chance. Taking this opportunity doesn't make you a bad mom, wife, or nurse. 

If possible, give yourself time to sit with the decision without rushing. Also, it might help to discuss the pros and cons of both options with your family and get their input — especially around how the schedule could impact your home life. Talk it out with your trusted people. Just articulating your thoughts and feelings out loud is a great way to sort through the concerns.

When making such a big decision, you often know the answer deep within yourself; it's just a matter of getting past the noise and fears.

Ultimately, this is about you pursuing what you've always wanted while balancing the reality of your family and personal life. You deserve to feel fulfilled in your career while maintaining harmony at home.

Best wishes,

Nurse Beth

 

[mdsRN2005, ASN, BSN, RN]

One thing to consider is that if you take it, you don't have to stay full time forever.  You'll have 12hr shifts either way, but you could work PRN later if the full time schedule was overwhelming (unless you need benefits).  If you do take it, I would recommend making sure you try to leave your current job in such a way that leaves the door open.  Then if you ever need to go back you have the option.  Here's a thought.   Don't know if your current job would go for this, but hypothetically they could let you go part time and hire a part time person to work the other half with both of you working two days.  (They should be willing to consider as they could forego benefits by doing this).  This would allow you to work full time at the new job long enough to train and see how you like it.  If you absolutely love it and want to go full time, quit the hybrid job.  If you find that you love L&D but are hesitant to do it full time, you could stay on part time at both.  Probably with regularly scheduled days at the hybrid job and on a PRN basis at the L&D job.  I've always enjoyed having two different jobs and have found that often these opposite jobs supplement each other well.  For example, you won't be as bored in the hybrid job if you have the L&D job to look forward to.  But the L&D job won't be as tiring if you're not doing it full time.  And honestly after several busy days on L&D, you'll probably enjoy the slower pace of the hybrid job for a day or so!  The important thing is not go burn a bridge anywhere so you do have these options.  

[JKL33]

Lots of people have some area of interest they'd love to try ("dream job" or whatever) and it's such a persistent desire that they they would have serious regrets if they passed by an opportunity.

Might it end up not being as great as they'd hoped? Yeah, but that's only a potential outcome, not a certain outcome by any means. Meanwhile, the regret/chances of regret at not trying something they'd really like to try (especially when they don't love their current role) are HIGH...and as years pass they sort of become that unfortunate thing in their life. 

So you could make this simple: Potential mistake vs. almost certain regret on some level.

I suspect but do not know for sure that, on the whole, the people who take reasonable risks in order to pursue a dream are happier than those who never take risks and just have to live with the regret of having chosen not to try a few things.