Why are preceptors negative towards nurses they are teaching?

I've been a nurse for about 4 years now but this is my first real floor nursing job. I am 4 weeks into precepting on a MedSurg floor and I'm just wondering...

Why is it that preceptors generally tend to be negative towards nurses they are teaching?

My preceptor has tried to throw me to the wolves since day 1. Every time I've asked her for help or tried to explain that I was in over my head she just tells me that I need to feel this stress and doesn't help me at all.

This overall experience has been miserable but I have been trying to be a trooper and stick it out.

I had my first mini review with my manager today that overall went well she said she definitely saw me progressing and said I was doing pretty good. She said she was going to switch my preceptor for my last couple of weeks so that I can learn some different techniques ... and, get a different point of view.

I think that's a great idea even if I thought my preceptor was wonderful it's always good to have more than one perspective.

At the end of a very very long shift after 3 straight days my preceptor tells me that I'm going to work with somebody else next week. She proceeds to tell me that it's because there are certain things that I'm just not picking up from her and that maybe I will be able to pick it up from the other person.

A nice way of saying I wasn't doing well and that it was somehow my fault.

I'm just wondering why is it that nurses tend to eat their young?

Why can't they just be a little bit more patient and understanding that things take time and that I'm not going to be at 100% so early in the game. Why can't they stop for a second and put themselves back in the shoes of being brand-new on a MedSurg floor when it's very busy and there's 10 million things going on and you feel a little overwhelmed??

[SmilingBluEyes]

Precepting new nurses is very hard. A preceptor is responsible for his or her own workload, and more importantly, the patients' wellbeing, while ensuring the novice nurse has the best possible learning experience.

Preceptors are not always volunteers; many are drafted into it, just by virtue of being experienced and knowledgeable and actually do resent that extra work. That is unfortunate and unfair to both novice and preceptor. A novice would go a long way, understanding the "other side" a bit and really developing an attitude of being helpful, eager to learn and hard-working and careful about expressing negative thoughts about the unit or the nurses in it.

First impressions are huge on both sides. If the preceptor is resentful, and lets it show, the novice is understandably and inevitably put-off and won't like that person. If the novice comes in with an attitude of entitlement and arrogance (and yes this happens), the preceptor automatically feels this signals trouble and it sets a bad tone for him or her. And word spreads quickly that this new nurse is trouble, and not a good fit for the unit. Like it or not, you have to acclimate to the unit culture if you are to get along and continue working there. If it's a toxic unit, you alone won't change it, and it's best in such situations to move on.

A bit of openness and understanding on both sides go a long way. And even if a novice is straight out of school, trying to learn the culture of the unit, he or she IS an adult and responsible, at least in large part, for his or her learning and development.

If a preceptor is unduly harsh or difficult, it's sometimes best to try to get a new one, speaking to the manager or nurse educator. I would choose the words wisely, not being negative, but rather, saying the two of you are not a good fit.

Being positive can only help any novice nurse's cause.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Love every word of this post, Mavrick!

I can see why your original post raised some hackles. First, you stated then repeated a phrase that has no meaning other than to insult. You applied it to nurses in general not just an experience you have had with one preceptor. Continuing the story of your three weeks of orientation just sounds like a slight personality clash where your preceptor admitted she could not teach you things she feels you need to know, apparently agreeing with your manager that a different (not better) preceptor would be able to teach you better. I don't believe she expects you to be 100%, maybe that is pressure you are putting on yourself and blaming her.

Knowing how stressful floor nursing is, I can't imagine the additional stress your preceptor is under having just survived a management swoop of house cleaning out the old nurses. She may not have that much experience herself. And who knows how you were presented to her. A nurse with 4 years experience is vastly different from a nurse who has had her license 4 years. Your previous experience puts you on par with a new grad without the protective coating.

Not everyone on this forum is going to research your profile or even read all the back pedaling you have done in your subsequent posts before they comment, so prepare yourself for some additional pushback. I am really surprised at your being a member since Sept 2014 and not being familiar with the NETY topic. It's an overused term with baggage that brings the venom out.

Hopefully your new preceptor will mesh with your goals of being a hospital based nurse and get you up to speed with as little damage as possible. You are the future of nursing and will be teaching the newer nurses sooner than you expect.

Sorry if this sounds like I'm bashing someone who has already taken a hit. You have more than responded to your original post in a positive way that shows insight. I think you're gonna make it!!

Best to you.

[nursy1, BSN, RN]

I can see why your original post raised some hackles. First, you stated then repeated a phrase that has no meaning other than to insult. You applied it to nurses in general not just an experience you have had with one preceptor. Continuing the story of your three weeks of orientation just sounds like a slight personality clash where your preceptor admitted she could not teach you things she feels you need to know, apparently agreeing with your manager that a different (not better) preceptor would be able to teach you better. I don't believe she expects you to be 100%, maybe that is pressure you are putting on yourself and blaming her.

Knowing how stressful floor nursing is, I can't imagine the additional stress your preceptor is under having just survived a management swoop of house cleaning out the old nurses. She may not have that much experience herself. And who knows how you were presented to her. A nurse with 4 years experience is vastly different from a nurse who has had her license 4 years. Your previous experience puts you on par with a new grad without the protective coating.

Not everyone on this forum is going to research your profile or even read all the back pedaling you have done in your subsequent posts before they comment, so prepare yourself for some additional pushback. I am really surprised at your being a member since Sept 2014 and not being familiar with the NETY topic. It's an overused term that has unsavory baggage.

Hopefully your new preceptor will mesh with your goals of being a hospital based nurse get you up to speed with as little damage as possible. You are the future of nursing and will be teaching the newer nurses sooner than you expect.

Sorry if this sounds like I'm bashing someone who has already taken a hit. You have more than responded to your original post in a positive way. I think you're gonna make it!!

Best to you.

Thank you for your feedback, that was really kind of you to read my posts and understand the entire situation (meaning my thoughts and question last night to where I am at now). And as far as a nurse for 4 years, I completely agree with you, that is exactly how I feel, like a rusty new grad without the protection. My career just got messed up at the beginning, I took a break for a little while after school to spend some time with my family. I ended up taking a job at a hospital 90 miles away to get a job (small town, 1 hospital, hired 8 people for new grad program out of a graduating class of 100), the 90 miles each way was way too much and a job at a dermalogy office near home presented itself, so I took it. So I was really only at the first hospital job for a few weeks. Biggest mistake I ever made, should have stuck out that first year. I figured I would be able to get back into a hospital after 1 year of nursing experience, well nobody counts working in a Dr. office. I did enjoy my job, and did some really interesting things, learned a lot about integumentary system and skin cancer, was hands on in surgery 3 days a week. Did that for 2 years, applying for hospital jobs here and there the whole second year, not a single call. Then went to long term care, doing kind of administrative, some hands on assessment, mostly chart reviewing and auditing position for almost a year. During that year I applied at several hospitals, probably put in 100 applications, at the one I got hired at it was application 74 that got me a call back, and my position now. So I am grateful to be here. I just feel exactly how you described though, a new grad without the protection, and its been almost 4 years since I touched a foley, IV, or did anything to that nature. So I was panicking before I got this job, thinking I was never going to find a job because I wasn't a new grad, I was worse than a new grad, I was somebody who hadn't been to school in 4 years (this may 4 years), so I am taking advantage of this phenomenal opportunity and thankful every day for it.

I know I complained about my preceptor, and that's I guess just human nature, when you are stressed or feeling down, you complain. But I also know that I am lucky to be here, lucky to be on a great floor with great management and a great team. I will get there with my organization and speed, its just going to take a few months.

And I honestly never knew about the stigma about the term I used, I love our profession, I left a successful career in banking at 29 to start over for nursing because it had been my dream since I was a kid and I finally got the courage to do it. I know one thing, I will never use that term again. I don't want to down our profession as a whole, we work too hard and already don't get the credit for what we do (we don't need credit though, we get our satisfaction from our patients when we make a difference), we definitely don't need a fellow nurse doing anything to add any negative stigma to it, so it is well noted & will not be used by me again... Thank you again for your feedback.

[SmilingBluEyes]

OP I know it's been said before, but needs repeating. Please, use more paragraphs when posting. I am trying hard to understand what you are posting and follow, but a continuous stream-train-of-thought communication style is pretty much impossible to fully understand.

It's too hard to read what you are writing, in plain terms.

Thanks.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Why do you nurses eat their young? I've been a nurse for about four years now but this is my first real floor nursing job. I am four weeks into precepting on a MedSurg floor and I'm just wondering why is it that preceptors generally tend to be so negative towards nurses they are teaching. My preceptor has tried to throw me to the wolves since day one every time I've asked her for help or tried to explain that I was in over my head she just tells me that I need to feel this stress and doesn't help me at all. This overall experience is been pretty miserable but I have been trying to be a trooper and stick it out. I had my first mini review with my manager today that overall went well she said she definitely saw me progressing and said I was doing pretty good and she said she was going to switch my preceptor for my last couple of weeks so that I can learn some different tech Meeks and get a different point of view. I think that's a great idea even if I thought my preceptor was wonderful it's always good to have more than one perspective. At the end of a very very long shift after three straight days my preceptor tells me that I'm going to be coming back to work with somebody else next week and then proceeds to tell me that it's because there are certain things that I'm just not picking up from her and that may be the other person would be able to teach me better and just really made it sound like I wasn't doing well and that it was somehow my fault. Overall everything is going to be okay and luckily I'm going to get to learn from somebody else for my last few weeks but I'm just wondering why is it that nurses tend to eat their young? Why can't they just be a little bit more patient and understanding that things take time and that I'm not going to be at 100% to three or four weeks in. Why can't they stopped for a second and put themselves back in the shoes of being brand-new on a MedSurg floor when it's very busy and there's 10 million things going on and you feel a little overwhelmed??

Nurses don't eat their young. That's a phrase coined by someone in the late 80s that made her a lot of money in book sales and speaking fees.

You haven't described a toxic environment, bullying, or anything but a preceptor who doesn't hold your hand as much as you'd like. And even she has apparently realized that her teaching style and your learning style don't mesh, so she's getting you the experience of a different preceptor in the hope that you'll learn better. It IS all about you learning to do the job, isn't it?

The fact that you would entitle your thread "Why Do Nurses Eat Their Young?" and then go on to describe a situation where your preceptors and manager have been fair with you and are going out of their way to ensure a better learning experience for you makes me wonder if you aren't allowing your expectations to color your perceptions.

You're not a new nurse. You're experienced, by your own description. I guess I'd be expecting you to be growing up by now.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

No, I am not a new grad, I however am new to the hospital/medsurg setting. I am not trying to make people mad, and I am not bashing my preceptor, I honestly was looking for feedback as to why so many preceptors are so hard on new employees. I am sorry if my post offended you, and I do not expect a big pity party, I was looking for true feedback.

"So many preceptors are so hard on new employees?" Did you get that from reading AN? Because in my experience, relatively few preceptors are hard on new employees, and when they ARE, it's just as likely that the new employee is the problem rather than the preceptor.

[Farawyn]

Wow, I hadn't thought of that, could be on to something... I mean, if your lucky enough to get time to get near the food in the cafeteria then you have to wait a zillion years for a soggy sandwich... and you don't really get a break because families see you and take the opportunity to ask questions... I should just bring in a snack so everybody isn't starving...

Gurl, if it's NETY, YOU are the snack.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I am definitely looking at this situation as a positive, I truly believe that this is a good idea for orientation anyway, getting other peoples views and perspectives is invaluable. Everybody had different techniques and ways of doing things and if you get to learn from several people it gives you the opportunity to see several different ways of doing things and figuring out which one works for you. I have done my best to keep a good relationship with my preceptor throughout this whole process, I may not like her teaching style, but I like her as a person and want to have a good relationship with her, and all my new co-workers.

I am well aware that there are places that will can you if the preceptor and the new don't mesh, and I am very thankful that I am not in a situation like that. I actually was offered 3 different positions and my deciding factor was the manager on this unit, she seemed really friendly, positive, and laid back and we just seemed to click during the interview. My impression of her was spot on, she is a wonderful manager and I am thankful that I chose this position.

I am not necessarily jumping to a conclusion I am being eaten, I honestly just wanted honest feedback as to why this seems to happen in this profession.

Your entire thread is coming across as "MY preceptor is mean to me." The honest feedback is that it doesn't happen is this profession any more than it happens in the general population, and at least I haven't seen any "mean preceptors" cause serious injury or death. Unlike a colleague of my former husband's who was "pranked" by his co-workers causing broken bones.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I am sorry if I offended you, I did not mean to generalize to the point that people would take it personally, and I know that not all nurses do this. I am not a new grad, but I am new to the hospital/med-surg floor. I have done other things in my career that were somewhat valuable for my nursing career, but it was not working on the floor. I wanted this job, I love it, I am thankful to finally be here (have been trying forever). I in now way shape or form believe that all nurses do this, I understand your point that it is a generalization that could be perceived as pointing at every nurse who precepts eats their young.... I know that there are a ton of nurses who are wonderful preceptors. This is not my first post on here, I had some deleted because I did not want to compromise my anonymity. I actually posted on here because I wanted true feedback to the phenomenon. I also did not know that it was a buzz word that would cause so much controversy. I do have common sense, so I will in the future try not to generalize you, if you would kindly not generalize me as a new grad with no common sense who had expectations and is troll/sock puppet trying to stir the pot. (Wow, I am going to now have to look up what I have been called because im not sure what a troll/sock puppet is??)

You joined over six months ago. If you've been reading with any regularity and checking the "latest" page, you would KNOW what a hot button you've pushed and what a hornet's nest you've stirred up. I don't know you enough to accuse you of being disingenuous, but really?

[42pines]

I suggest that every nursing student read the book "Odd Girl Out." It can be bought for $0.75 plus a few dollars shipping on half.com or amazon.com.

The book goes a very long way in explaining why females turn into bullies, and just understanding it helps avoid some problems.

Lateral violence or bullying is rife in nursing. I remember reading an article from maybe 2002, the journal was on nursing education. I wish I had kept a copy. But the article followed several groups of newly graduated RNs in Boston hospital fast track programs.

The author reported that after a year a very surprising number had quit. The reason: bullying.

There are a lot of bullies in nursing, and a lot of very good people too. The problem with bullying is, if you are a victim, often others don't see it. Again, this is well explained in Odd Girl Out.

If you buy and read it, PM me and tell me what your opinion is.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Thanks for taking everything here in, retracting your NETY thing (multiple times), and really reflecting on the source of your stress.

I had a PATIENT the other day make comments to the charge nurse that I was "judging" her. When the charge nurse talked to me, she said the patient could not come up with anything specific that I said that was judgmental, but the patient did say that I took my job too seriously, didn't joke around, and wouldn't answer questions about my family. SERIOUSLY, those were the patient's words! The patient went on to say that she felt I was judging her on her length of stay, her resistance to ambulation, etc. (My teaching to her involved self-care, ambulation, getting back to baseline, and the risk of infection the longer someone stays in the hospital.) In other words, she was projecting her anxiety on to me and interpreting my behavior in the exact same way that she felt about herself.

As a new grad, I did the exact same thing as you did earlier on in this thread. I "grew up" in an environment of very experienced nurses that kept pushing and pushing and pushing. I would come home and complain how they just didn't understand, they were pushing me too hard, how I didn't get the support I needed. I started appreciating it when I went to a new job a little over a year later (left my old job due to scheduling, not the environment), and I had a week of orientation before they let me loose with, "You're good. No need for more orientation." That pushing I received helped me advance faster.

I'm not saying that you don't need another preceptor; what I am saying is that nursing in a new environment/specialty requires being challenged to develop in the new position. In my current position, I see way too many new grads being precepted by 1-yearish staff nurses, and when I follow the NGs, I see their gaps in knowledge, assessment, and priorities. They were praised, hand-holded, and not corrected often enough. One of the new-ish preceptors came up to ask me how her NG (now off orientation) was doing when I followed the him for three days straight. I could see in her eyes the concern and lack of confidence in the NG, which she obviously didn't address while the NG was being precepted. Scary.

[Libby1987]

I haven't read most of the posts but just want to shout, NOT ALL NEW NURSES ARE CREATED EQUAL.

I'm just going to come out and state the obvious that some are quicker, sharper, more intuitive and tougher, the ones that came before might have set the bar, but preceptors are expected to roll them all out in the same time frame. You bet I keep my admin updated re progress or lack thereof. We want our new hires to be successful and I work for some very humane managers but it's also a business and only so many resources are available to bring someone up to speed, and it's the admin's call.