Why did I go to school to be a nurse?

Posted
by JB2007 JB2007, ASN, RN Member Nurse

Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU. Has 5 years experience.

Why is that every family member with no medical or nursing back ground feels like they can tell me how to do my job? In the past week, I have had one too many family members try to tell me how to do my job. I had two family members tell me exactly when I was to give their loved one their meds. I tell them that I have thirty other residents to care for it is not always possible to be there at that time and I would do my best, but it will not always be possible to be there at the exact time that they wish. They go over my head and these doctor's are so busy trying to make these people happy that they actually order these meds at specific times. There is no reason for these meds to have specific times!!! They are making my impossible job even more difficult. When I talk to my supervisor she says what will it hurt to just make them happy. Nothing except these things seem to snowball out of control one person wants their meds at this time and another want them at that time. Before you know it I am passing meds all day long. I have to assess people, do treatments, chart, ect... When the heck am I to do anything, but the meds at this time and the meds at that time. I feel like I am being jerked around by everyone here and I am going to lose it soon. Any advice from anyone would help. I thought we had certain times for med passes for a reason.

oramar

oramar

1 Article; 5,758 Posts

Why is that every family member with no medical or nursing back ground feels like they can tell me how to do my job? In the past week, I have had one too many family members try to tell me how to do my job. I had two family members tell me exactly when I was to give their loved one their meds. I tell them that I have thirty other residents to care for it is not always possible to be there at that time and I would do my best, but it will not always be possible to be there at the exact time that they wish. They go over my head and these doctor's are so busy trying to make these people happy that they actually order these meds at specific times. There is no reason for these meds to have specific times!!! They are making my impossible job even more difficult. When I talk to my supervisor she says what will it hurt to just make them happy. Nothing except these things seem to snowball out of control one person wants their meds at this time and another want them at that time. Before you know it I am passing meds all day long. I have to assess people, do treatments, chart, ect... When the heck am I to do anything, but the meds at this time and the meds at that time. I feel like I am being jerked around by everyone here and I am going to lose it soon. Any advice from anyone would help. I thought we had certain times for med passes for a reason.
Isn't it easy for the people that don't have to actually do the work to decide when and how it is to be done. It is no secret that I dislike management and hold doctors at arms length like the have a bad smell. What you describe is a good part of the reason. I am totally on your side, I feel for you. I would probably be working in LTC right now if it was not for the ridiculous patient to nurse ratios and the endless med passes.

pagandeva2000, LPN

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health. 7,984 Posts

I experience this every day. Usually, it is from the patients and their families, but also from others, such as ancillary staff that also have no idea what it is like to be a nurse. I break my neck to try and help these people and more often than not, they are unappreciative. I feel your pain. And, I had a bad day...

pricklypear

pricklypear

Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis. Has 11 years experience. 1,060 Posts

(((((((JB2007))))))) I'm sorry. Sometimes I wish I had gone into archeology. I have felt like I was banging my head against a wall for most of the 9 years I've been nursing.

travel50

travel50

Specializes in LTC, geriatric, psych, rehab. Has 26 years experience. 224 Posts

Isn't it easy for the people that don't have to actually do the work to decide when and how it is to be done. It is no secret that I dislike management and hold doctors at arms length like the have a bad smell. What you describe is a good part of the reason. I am totally on your side, I feel for you. I would probably be working in LTC right now if it was not for the ridiculous patient to nurse ratios and the endless med passes.

Hear, hear! Not all management people are so bad! I am the DON at a LTC facility. I hadn't wanted to be, but the job sort of landed in my lap. Corporate may regret that choice on their part. But here is what I do. When I have a family member who demands mama have her pills at exactly a specific time, then they can come and give them to her. They have absolutely no idea what all my nurses have to do, so do not put such time constraints on them. They need not bother to call my doctors b/c they will tell them the same thing. And lest the doctor forget, I have all their cell phone numbers, and I'm not afraid to use them. Now, Mrs. E. wants her hs pills as early as possible, so I do ask my nurses to give hers first, but she is the only one with that request on that hall, and it is not for an exact time. If my nurses or aides have trouble with a family member, I expect them to come and get me so I can deal with it. They should not have to handle everything on their own. I have had family members so demanding that I advised they take their loved one elsewhere b/c I will not have my nurses bullied. Staffing was awful when I took over 4 yrs ago. For example, 1 LPN on nites for 60 residents. After I made my arguments to corporate, I got another LPN, and now even an RN from 7p-7a. I work very hard to make my nurses and aides jobs easier. Just gave an LPN off 3 days this week b/c she is feeling so stressed...home problems in addition to work.

So please don't throw all of us management people out the window. Some of us really try.

oramar

oramar

1 Article; 5,758 Posts

Hear, hear! Not all management people are so bad! I am the DON at a LTC facility. I hadn't wanted to be, but the job sort of landed in my lap. Corporate may regret that choice on their part. But here is what I do. When I have a family member who demands mama have her pills at exactly a specific time, then they can come and give them to her. They have absolutely no idea what all my nurses have to do, so do not put such time constraints on them. They need not bother to call my doctors b/c they will tell them the same thing. And lest the doctor forget, I have all their cell phone numbers, and I'm not afraid to use them. Now, Mrs. E. wants her hs pills as early as possible, so I do ask my nurses to give hers first, but she is the only one with that request on that hall, and it is not for an exact time. If my nurses or aides have trouble with a family member, I expect them to come and get me so I can deal with it. They should not have to handle everything on their own. I have had family members so demanding that I advised they take their loved one elsewhere b/c I will not have my nurses bullied. Staffing was awful when I took over 4 yrs ago. For example, 1 LPN on nites for 60 residents. After I made my arguments to corporate, I got another LPN, and now even an RN from 7p-7a. I work very hard to make my nurses and aides jobs easier. Just gave an LPN off 3 days this week b/c she is feeling so stressed...home problems in addition to work.

So please don't throw all of us management people out the window. Some of us really try.

Exactly, I am going to print this up and mail it to about 10 LTC facilities. Truth is most nurses don't get this kind of support.
dana_8585

dana_8585

Specializes in primary care, surgery. Has 5 years experience. 6 Posts

Yeah and it isn't just thier families, it's also the people working in the business who are only concerned with the bottom dollar.

travel50

travel50

Specializes in LTC, geriatric, psych, rehab. Has 26 years experience. 224 Posts

Exactly, I am going to print this up and mail it to about 10 LTC facilities. Truth is most nurses don't get this kind of support.

You know, I just don't understand it. I know that you are correct, but why? Do you have any idea how much easier my job is b/c my nurses and aides are happy? My nurses will bend over backwards to do whatever I ask of them. But then, I don't ask them to do anything that I won't or can't do myself. Last time my corporate nurse told me I had to make my nurses do something, I told her I'd be glad to do so as soon as she came and did it herself for one week. When I could see that she could do it, then I'd ask my nurses to. I swear I thought she was going to fire me over that one. But her request was unreasonable. I think all management people should have to do the work of their employees sometimes. Directors of nursing need to work as an aide now and then. They need to go pass pills...just one med pass would do it! When one of my aides died, the others of course wanted to go to his funeral. I let all go who wanted to. All of us office nurses worked as aides while they were gone. Even the administrator came out and made beds. I was so glad to see them when they got back!!! My back was killing me after 2 hrs! I've done the same for my nurses. It doesn't take much at all, and they appreciate it so much. So I don't understand why other management people do not see this. I would like for some of them to answer that question.

nerdtonurse?

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry. 3 Articles; 2,043 Posts

Travel50, got any openings?

You're a born leader -- you lead from the front, and understand the job you're asked to evaluate. That makes you a very rare manager. Unfortunatley.

eriksoln, BSN, RN

Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary. Has 15 years experience. 2 Articles; 2,636 Posts

(((((((JB2007))))))) I'm sorry. Sometimes I wish I had gone into archeology. I have felt like I was banging my head against a wall for most of the 9 years I've been nursing.

Accounting is my mistress career...........or, well, secret desire field anyway.

I do have to admit though, lots of things about nursing that just wouldnt be going on with accounting that I love too.

As far as the OP's complaint goes, I have a solution that a very good nurse who was well liked by management and doctors alike shared with me, and I use it:

Just say "OK" and smile, then go about doing things how you planned to before they started making demands of you. Its that easy. For a lot of people, its not that they really care about whatever it is they are insisting you do, its that they want to see that you care about what they think. Let the think you do and it ends there.

blondnursey

blondnursey

Specializes in LTC, SNF, PSYCH, MEDSURG, MR/DD. Has 15 years experience. 105 Posts

You know, I just don't understand it. I know that you are correct, but why? Do you have any idea how much easier my job is b/c my nurses and aides are happy? My nurses will bend over backwards to do whatever I ask of them. But then, I don't ask them to do anything that I won't or can't do myself. Last time my corporate nurse told me I had to make my nurses do something, I told her I'd be glad to do so as soon as she came and did it herself for one week. When I could see that she could do it, then I'd ask my nurses to. I swear I thought she was going to fire me over that one. But her request was unreasonable. I think all management people should have to do the work of their employees sometimes. Directors of nursing need to work as an aide now and then. They need to go pass pills...just one med pass would do it! When one of my aides died, the others of course wanted to go to his funeral. I let all go who wanted to. All of us office nurses worked as aides while they were gone. Even the administrator came out and made beds. I was so glad to see them when they got back!!! My back was killing me after 2 hrs! I've done the same for my nurses. It doesn't take much at all, and they appreciate it so much. So I don't understand why other management people do not see this. I would like for some of them to answer that question.

where do you work? can i come? please?

JB2007

JB2007, ASN, RN

Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU. Has 5 years experience. 554 Posts

Accounting is my mistress career...........or, well, secret desire field anyway.

I do have to admit though, lots of things about nursing that just wouldnt be going on with accounting that I love too.

As far as the OP's complaint goes, I have a solution that a very good nurse who was well liked by management and doctors alike shared with me, and I use it:

Just say "OK" and smile, then go about doing things how you planned to before they started making demands of you. Its that easy. For a lot of people, its not that they really care about whatever it is they are insisting you do, its that they want to see that you care about what they think. Let the think you do and it ends there.

I would and have done this in the past, but with the resident's families that are making the unreasonable demands it is a power trip. Pure and simple. Oh, I am sure it comes partly from some misguided sense of caring, but mostly it is a power trip. These family members have no other out let for their need to control so they go into the nursing home where their are people who will kiss their butt to make them happy and start throwing their weight around. When I do not do what they tell me to or have the doctor order me to they throw a fit at management and they tell me I have to do what I am told. I need my job, so I do it, but in the mean time things are not getting done like they are supose to get done. I am basically screwed because I have out of control families and residents and management will not back me. I am so mad right now I could just scream. Well thanks for listening to me complain (as if we do not get enough of this at work right).

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.