When you want to slap your co-workers

hecallsmeDuchess · Jul 20, 2016

I recently moved back to my home state and took a position at a large hospital in a small unit. I started working a few weeks ago, and it is the most cushy nursing position I've ever had. I went from taking 7-8 patients while being charge on a high acuity med-surg unit to taking no more than 5 patients on a unit that is relatively lower acuity. I'm actually finding myself having downtime, which I've never had before.
As I'm starting to get to know my co-workers, I'm finding myself sitting at different nurses stations just to get away from them. All they do all day is complain about how hard their job is, how the pay stinks and trying to get out of taking admits. It's ridiculous to listen to. I feel like I want to slap them. They have no idea how good they have it on our unit, how excellent the pay is for the area (we make nearly $3 more an hour than the next largest metro area where the cost of living is way higher), and how easy our patient load is.
I'm really having a hard time listening to their constant complaining. I realize nursing can be frustrating at times no matter where you go, but seriously... if they only knew how good it was on our unit. I guess it's a good reminder to not become that type of nurse. Always be thankful when a facility treats you well, pays you what you're worth and helps protect your license by staffing well with good ratios. I guess I won't be making any friends on my new unit anytime soon, but at least I'm no longer coming home frustrated by chaos.

Maybe, just maybe that's the only place they've worked and have nothing to compare it to as far as being better or not. Try to keep an open mind and give them a chance...

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN · Jul 20, 2016

I felt somewhat amused moving from Texas to California and seeing how "busy" nurses felt with only five patients.

I made plenty of friends, though ...because I would finish my work, then get bored and start doing theirs.

Eventually my standards of care went up and I got back to using all my time. When ratios were super-high, my only focus was keeping everyone alive.

thecrossfitrn, BSN, RN · Jul 20, 2016

hecallsmeDuchess, you're right... most of them have only worked at this facility their whole career, so I know they have no idea what the outside world of nursing is. I'm really trying not to hold that against them, but it's hard.

I'm also in a whole different age category than most of them. Nearly all of them are at least in their late 40's with teenage children and are talking about retirement. Then there's me, no kids, and at least ten years younger than all of them. Makes it harder to make friends too.

thebeccalc, BSN, RN · Jul 20, 2016

This sounds like my facility. One unit is like your old one, constantly busy, possibility of up to ten patients in a shift between admits, discharges, and transfers, and people just work from clock in to clock out with no time to think, let alone complain or stir drama.

Then there's my home unit, much lower acuity, typical patient load of 3-4 per nurse, no Tele to futz with, and tons of downtime. Being on nights, my crew gets along great, and we're all fairly positive folks so we use our time the best we can (hello Netflix and study time!). However, the day crews, both of them, walk in the door complaining and are still complaining when I get back the next night. They're too busy, they have too many patients, they need more help, and gossip, drama, gossip. Bleh. Let's not even get into the fact that days have a unit clerk and a CNA, neither of which nights have unless we're just totally full.

AutumnApple · Jul 22, 2016

The less you have to do, the less you want to do.

It's a phenomenon that haunts our best days. While we have it good, we can tend to become like your co-workers. Then the good days rolls by without being appreciated. And when things "amp up" a bit, we can't cope.

I do try to avoid it but, it happens to the best of us. Not much we can do about it, they have to learn differently on their own.

I do though have a saying that applies to all the complaining: "If they grass is greener on the other side, water your lawn better." I hate chronic complainers. I'm the type that, if I find I need to complain on a daily basis, I either solve what is bothering me or move on.

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Jul 22, 2016

I feel your pain. I work with some folks who will spend 30 minutes fluffing and puffing a level 3 acuity patient while I carry the rest of the ER by myself, and then they look like deer in the headlights when three people show up to triage at the same time, and complain that they're not getting their breaks when I've told them, for the love of all that is holy, just go!!!

I don't have any words of wisdom to share, just know that I can empathize.

LPNtoRNin2016OH, LPN · Jul 23, 2016

My husband has this issue at his cushy job, non healthcare related. We came into the workforce during the recession, my husband is a mechanic and got laid off constantly due to the auto industry tanking. He finally landed a great paying, union job. He thanks his lucky stars every day he is here and is baffled why his co workers that have been there twenty years could possibly have any complaints. You can't miss something you've always had which I'm sure is the case on your unit. It works out to his advantage though because he is always the first to get called for OT since he never complains lol

Davey Do · Jul 23, 2016

All they do all day is complain about how hard their job is... I feel like I want to slap them.

I take this to mean "slap (some sense into) them", eh thecrossfitrn?

Like the proverbial horse, we can only lead others to being sense full, we can not make them so. Like stupid, we can't fix it. In this case, we can't even sedate it!

I guess I won't be making any friends on my new unit anytime soon.

We do not receive our pay for making friends. We receive pay for providing care to those we serve.

My mantra, thecrossfitrn, in times like this, is: "My happiness is not a result of what others do or say or what happens around me. My happiness is a result of being at peace with myself".

We only have to sleep with ourselves.

The best to you, thecrossfitrn!

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Jul 23, 2016

OP, then find something else to do with your downtime.

You are there to work, not make friends, so who cares what others speak of at the nurse's station that doesn't affect you in any way but to irritate you.

If they have 10 years in age, then I would assume they have 10 years of nursing experiences that you do not. And regardless of how "low acuity" the unit may be, when the poop hits the fan it hits the fan. So whilst you are off at other nurse's stations looking for friends, your unit may be all heck breaking loose...you never know.

And really, you have no earthly idea what other experiences other nurses on your unit have had as far as they "have never left the unit" or hospital or whatever.

You can be super duper awesome sauce nurse until you turn purple, but the true test will be when there's a critical turn of events, and how you cope with your new found complacency. Good luck with that.

If you are that bored, perhaps you can start studying for a certification/specialty in your downtime. And make your life more complete outside of work, so your work life is not based on being BFFs.

I will say that one of the best things you could do for you is to create mentors with nurses who have been doing this stuff since you have been alive. I have seen more than a few nurses who believe they are all that and a bag of frito lays with a "you don't know how good you have it, as when I was in the level 1 trauma take 15 patients with ease hospital, I rocked it" attitude have patients coding, falling, or have a change in condition--and the nurse is off swapping war stories with another unit.....

NursesRmofun, ASN, RN · Jul 23, 2016

I can relate!! Sometimes it is that way...idol hands and all. Too much time to think, plot, etc. I had it really good several years back working on a very quiet unit. Looking back, I am not sure at all WHY it was quiet. The nurses there were so easy to give report to and take report from...all was well. I miss it. But I moved....

ItsThatJenGirl, CNA · Jul 23, 2016

We only know what our experiences have taught us. Perhaps to them, it IS hard, because their "hard" is different than your hard, based on your experiences. That doesn't make them less than you, it just makes them different.

I'd just feel lucky that you find your work easy, and try to enjoy this time in your life.